The Movie Which Makes Me Think.

messy hair and makeup-less. LOL.


Yesterday (28/3/09) was a real hectic day. I Ko-ed around 11pm after a whole day of running about. I was damnnnnnnn tired. *shudders* Well, it was my school's prize giving day for those who achieved well in their academic performance. So, i woke up at 6.15am, after so long of sleeping in late! it feels great to wake up so early, i get to see those mists on mountains. LOL. *my house is up on a mini hill*.

The whole event lasted till a little after 12pm. I have to stay through the whole thing to collect my SHIELD. The one with my name printed on. The Big Ass thing that i've return to school that might never get displayed because there's two chinese name printed on it. LOL. 2 chinese name cause the 1st one is my senior's name. =) and then it's mine. and 3 more space to be filled.


the shield.



3 more spaces to fill it before it'll be discarded. LOL.






my name on it. Uber cool can, though the shield is nothing like king arthur's?


So in total, i actually got 7 Awards! *am i bragging? yes, i am bragging!*

After the whole event, Ben and i headed to McD's for lunch before heading home. Our initial plan was to go to the KL Bird Park but then it was such a sun shiny day and it was hot, so we decided to just chill indoor. He suggested catching a movie at Jusco which i was okay with. =) So i checked out the newspaper for movie schedule and there was only 2 movies we could make it. Knowing and 12 Rounds. I was kinda skeptical with those two as i really have no idea what is it about. So off i went to YouTube. People condemned 12 Rounds really badly so i went to check out Knowing's triller. Guess what? It's really intruguing. and the comments left by people were good. So we chose Knowing.






I say it's the one of the best disaster movie made after Independence Day starring Bill Pullman and Will Smith. Knowing is just as interesting and captivating minus the alien attack. =) After watching a few disaster movies lately, i thought Hollywood won't come out with anything as good as Independance Day but i was wrong. Knowing, is almost as great. =) And it was touching, i cried in the cinema, quite loud, according to Ben. *paiseh!* but watch it with an open mind, then you judge. Owh, and the ending? It's one of those unique ones.

We went home after that. I removed my makeup and change before, ben ask me to camwhore with him on his lappie built in camera. I think his lappie will die sooner or later. cause of death, taking too many pics of ben and i. LOL.



Ben with the tongue.



he was really bitting my head. (-_-") and i look uber ugly here. hahaha.



He went back after that. And i was so tired and sleepy but i didn't want to sleep. so i took my bolster, yeash, bolster, down with me to the living room. Lay down on the beanie and watch Gem Of Life, halfway through the show, i fell asleep. Woke up, get ready and went out for dinner with my family minus Sandra as she went to Capsquare for the event. =3

Went furniture shopping or rather sofa shopping. I was so sleepy and tired, i could barely made comments. Owh, and i saw some real sexy lazy chairs and sofa with zebra prints! xD yeash, i have a thing on zebra prints lately. xD me love the sofa with zebra prints. =( and it's cheap. or so i think for a small 2 seater sofa.

Reached home around 8.25pm. We didn't switch on the lights or anything. We lit candles instead. =)





i'm proud to say, the Lee Family, joined in the calling. =) Well, my mum was so semangat, she actually switched off the Fridge. I was like "MUUUUUM, that's too much!".

Some of my neighbours joined in, but mostly were ignorant fools that couldn't careless about the earth. You know, it's because of all these selfish being, we're all going to die soon. and i won't deny the fact that i hate my neighbourhood. they are selfish, and they think they are rich people when the biggest car around isn't even a BMW.

Yeah, they complaint to authorities about my dad keeping his lorry of gas in the house. They are afraid of dying yet doing nothing about the earth because by then, they'll be six feet under and their descendants are the ones suffering. And think that a gas seller can't live in a house in this neighbourhood because he works on pure labor. Those people better watch out after i graduate with my law degree, i'll find every fault in them and sue. yes, i think i'd love to go on a suing spree. *smiles angelicly*


ben, just like a little boy. =P



ps: more furniture shopping later. Ekk!

Luck and Bad Decision.

photoshopped by sandra. =)


1st. 3 of my fingers got scalded early in the morning. Why? Because of my really untimely reflex. I was juggling a cup of 100 celcius or lower temperature tea, newspapers and two egg tarts. Cup in Left hand, tart on top of the folded half newspaper i was carrying. Tarts almost fell, left hand wanted to catch. And there goes. =/ What a way to start my morning. And i really DID jumped up and down in pain before running all the way to the water tap. =/

2nd. I planned to get my School Leaving Cert and my Prefect Cert. So i left at 10am. I was thinking to pay toll or not to pay toll. And i chose NOT to pay toll and the closer road to school. And well, i was stuck in the jam for 30 mins. (-_-")


Genting trip! =)


3rd. Upon reaching the school, i met up with Raymond to collect the Prefect Cert first. Alas, FINALLY met the teacher but she said "come back in another two days to collect the certs, i just saw the mistake on yours.". We went like WTF can? It's near April, and you still haven't got our certs done?! And i just received news from Raymond earlier, saying, we can only collect next week. =/

4th. Then i went to collect my School Leaving cert. I didn't notice any mistake. I was happy with it. So i walked out of school to my car. And then i saw it. REALLY F-ing STUPID mistake. The clerks should really go back to school! This time, they have my SPM results printed on the PMR placing. And for my SPM results, they just put a NIL. A F-ing NIL! I was like, damn, i must have been darn smart to take 10 subjects for PMR, totally skipped my SPM and Score pretty well for my STPM. *rolls eyes* then i have to walk back to school and have the clerk re-do the whole thing. Aih. He ask me to come back the next day. I am like, i'll give you till next week. *shakes head*



crystal jelly. Not for eating! =D


5th. Then i went to collect my driving license. I'm a C driver now! teehee. =D then i decide to get a TRIM. An Inch or TWO trim. So i went around looking at the prices. I saw this shop offering a rm20 haircut. So since i only need a f-ing trimming. I went in. Without any doubt.

When she started cutting, that's when i start regretting my decision to even enter the bloody saloon. She didn't measure my hair. And went on a trimming and thinning spree happily. I came out with my hair 4 inches shorter than before i went in. When i was paying, She even dared to smile at me and ask me to come again. My god. That's the 1st and the last time i'll ever enter THAT shop.

So now, it's.. very wavy, pretty short and bloody dry.


I suppose today is of bad luck and bad decision. *sigh*

Prince, it's your birthday! =)

my prince, as everyone know. =)


Prince's birthday is on..

14th March! Yay! =) Birthday and White Valentine, how sweet. =3

Well, for his birthday this year, we've decided to celebrate with his family but.. didn't turn out as it is. =( And my so last minute planning for lunch with his coll mates didn't work out too. =( Owh well. But we did enjoyed ourselves at the curve. =)

I know what i wanted to get him but each Nike outlet either has the last piece or the size is simply gone. =/ So i got him to bring me to the curve.

And.. i got 5 pairs of earrings, two nail polish (blue. i'm so crazy about blue lately!) and a dress. =3



*gasps* lucky you didn't get me the costumes as souvenir! xD


But still managed to get him his pressie from Pyramid and my own pressie. =3 as a reward to myself. *sounds so sad!*

And here's a post dedicated to my prince. =3

Benjamin Tan Chung Young. I met him through Friendster. Sounds a bit cliche. I know. Hahaha. At that time, i just came back from Redang Island (i wanna go again! X3) and i don't know how but he just ended up leaving a comment on one of my picture. =) and since he left a question, i replied him. LOL. And he wasn't even on my friend's list, thus, the friendship turned relationship begins. xD


urhm, pizza anyone?


Ben's charming. Admit it! *points a knife at readers*. =) Okay, not to everyone especially those who are afraid of him. *giggles* But Ben really is a charismatic person. He makes friends easily. He can practically suit himself in any, ANY situation. And that's what i love about him. He makes me feel really comfortable with him especially on the first day of meeting him in real person. Even Sandra warmed up to him in within minutes. =) It feels really easy being with him. And what's more surprising is, he's mature for his age. =P

Ben is the only person that i can really really show myself. My immatureness. My bimboness. At times, it annoys the hell out of him but he handles it really well. =D What to do lar, it makes him laugh when i annoy him with silly question like "Why is the sky blue?". That was just an example. I NEVER asked him that. i know the answers anyway. =/

even the kebab cook warmed up to him.

Ben has really good leadership skills. =) Even my cousin sister was impressed when she look at Ben's profile in his friendster. Hahaha. Ben, now you know! =D He runs his club really well and he's very dedicated to it. He organizes a lot of events. Helpout at SPCA, Orphanage, Camps, Talks, Activities. But all wouldn't be successful if it's not for his club members too la. =D

He is also a super helpful person. =) I think he enjoys helping people at times. Running errands, doing favors for people. *Happily sigh* Ben's so not a typical malaysian like.. yours truly.. =P . He helps whenever he can. Where else, i'm the type that waits for people to help the person who needs help except maybe for life and death situation la. =/ Ben likes to help people, Stephie likes to help animals if possible because they are cuter. =P

My prince is also very knowledgeable. =3 He taught me a lot of things i wouldn't think of, especially food! He thought me how to taste, which is which, the difference between whipped cream and cream, how to pronounce steak, the right way to eat steak, how to taste wine (though i haven't really grasp it right yet.). He also introduced me to Edamame, Italiannies, D'Tavern, Carl's Junior, Mee Suah and.. *thinks* a lot others? =D (ps: he knows how to cook too!)



his dad with the pipe. his mum with the smile. and ben with the.. smile too. =)


Do you know he's actually a clean freak? He's so opposite of me. I'm rather messy and not so much of a clean freak. but doesn't mean i'm not clean! xD When we first met, i remember thinking to myself, he's such clean freak!, whenever he tells me he's cleaning the house, the toilet or cleaning lucky. =/ he even comes to my place to scrub... pots... = = NOT that my parents didn't clean properly, it's just, we don't scrub pots. (-_-") and when ben sees a pot, his itchy hands can't stand it, and start scrubbing pots though i asked him not to. countless of times. aih. *shakes head*


Bennie is also a very sweet person. =) Very sweet. He goes all out to make me happy though the last 3 days haven't been that sweet but still.. *hugs* i guess, it happens in a relationship, no? We talked it over and it's settled, i hope. =3 he gives me roses occasionally. and last friday he gave me an african daisy that looks like sunflower if you ask me. hahaha.

Although Saturday didn't turn out that well, i hope next year things would be different. Afterall, next year is when you hit the BIG 2 0. =) *hugs* so next year, i promise it'll be different. if it doesn't, i'll MAKE it happen. =3

Happy Birthday My Love! =)


*hugs and kisses*


ps: i'll always be by your side no matter what. just like you with me all the time. =)

And it feels like this..

calming. serene. nostalgic.


I took a gamble. A gamble which MIGHT cost me my future. As in literally. Or not. I don't know. But still, i took it without weighing the consequences much. I just know, when i decided to do it, i'll give in everything that i could and to make sure things turn out the way i wanted it to be.


Surprisingly, it did.


i say we look really good here. =3


I was from Science Stream. Changing into Art's Stream was a really big step for me. I didn't have any Arts Foundation. I didn't know much about Economics nor Business Studies. And i opted for these two subjects plus History (now, if anyone doesn't know a bit of it, then i've got nothing to say lar.. xD )

For the 1st two months, i was actually struggling. I didn't understand much about Econs or business studies. Basically, i was pretty blur. And at that time, i was really afraid. I was afraid that i made the wrong decision. It's like starting a whole new life altogether.

Then i pull myself together and force myself to understand. Which, sort of work? Thinking in a new perspective. Thinking LIKE econs. And thinking like a Business woman. It worked pretty okay for me.


Pn.Norishah, the datin in our hearts. <3>


Honestly? I've never scored really well for my business paper 1, and history paper 2. i struggled really hard for these two papers. Always trying my best to write the answers the teachers wanted. Even so there were a few teachers who encouraged us a lot. =) Pn. Norishah, Pn.Dyanthi, Pn.Siti Meriam and Pn.Che Rusidah but Pn.Norishah was the one that makes us feel like she's our mum. I heart her can? Almost wanted to ask her to become my Kai Ma earlier. =P


So yeah, as you guys know, today was the BIG day! I woke up around 8 something? The night before i had to drink a bottle a beer before going to sleep which work like a magic potion! in within 30 mins of consuming it, i totally KO-ed till the next day. Ben stayed over. =3 He did a lot of things to get my mind of the whole result thing which worked like magic. I did forget about the whole thing until.. 11am. That was went i felt the panic bile rising AGAIN! Waited another 30 mins before getting ready because my mum had some work for me but it was a false alarm. cheh!


Without you guys being there by my side throughout the whole journey, my success wouldn't mean anything. (Amirul, Raymond, Wai Hong, Nadira, and yours truly. Missing from the picture: Chui Kheng and See Yun)


Reached school around 12.15pm. Results were released. It was damn obvious where the results thing would be. The tables were set up in the foyer! O_O *gulps* *hearts beat faster* *The theme from Psycho started playing in my head* then i saw Pn.Norishah. Instantly i felt so much relax. Okay, i was still panicking! Flora was looking at her results and... her face didn't look okay... and then i was thinking "DIE LO! If she look like that, i better be prepared to look like that too!"

And.. *jeng jeng jeng!* it was my turn to take a seat. Pn.Norishah was smiling at me. (Of course she has to smile, or else you'll feel damn bad okay!) then i smiled. She asked me to look for 2 Certs. School leaving Cert and my testimonial. I was shaking when i looked through the papers. And then she couldn't stand it anymore. Yeah, she was like a balloon waiting to burst the confettis out of her. She went like "Steph, CONGRATULATIONS!" Steph went like "huh?" , shocked. She continued.. "You've scored STRAIGHT A's!" For a moment, i was like so dumb founded. I just stared. The happiness building up in me. "Teacher, are you joking?"

She smiled and said, "Serious! You scored straight A's!" I started crying! God, embarassing can? She was shaking my hand when i just blurted out "I'm GOING to U.M!" and her eyes was red and teary, like she was gonna cry for me too. She nodded and said happily," yes! you're going to UM!" and i took a full 2 minutes of crying, teachers from other tables whipped out their phone and started taking pictures of me. Swt Betul. Then i teared my results slip. It was.. straight A minus. DAMN! i didn't thought of A minus. My sis scored A's without the minus. So basically i lost to her by 0.33 pointers overall. Pif!

Then phone calls and messages came in. Thank you to those who called and send in messages! =)


we were all in it together. =)


I was thinking naively also. I was thinking, my mum would look at me in a new light, that i wasn't the failure of the family at all. in fact, i was just as good. but then, that thought was crushed when she called and asked me about my results. i told her i got straight A's. then she asked for my pointer which i told her. Wanna know what was her reaction? "Why so LITTLE?".. i was stunned.. and i wanted to cry again. I mean, i worked so f-ing hard to earn a little bit of appreciation and all i've got is.. "why so little?!" i went like.. "How much do you want then? it's like one of the best already." then she asked.. "will it get you into NUS?"

I was pissed. My aunt was brain washing her for 5 months about it. and she succumbed to it. I DON'T want to go NUS. I didn't work for that and i'm not about to let someone like her to whipped me away from here. *&^%!

Oh well, doesn't matter now. There are a few people that i'd love to say thanks to regardless they WILL read it or NOT.



you look the handsomest when you smile. i always thought you look like Jet Li when you were young. teehee~


1st person would be my dad. Thank you for being there for me all the time. Even when i did not do you proud (SPM) , you didn't look down on me nor shunned me for it. you always say doesn't matter what the outcome is as long as you've tried your best for it. i know you were dissapointed but you hid it well. Even so, it hurts to see you hiding it like that. What i have done and achieved today, i did it for me and for you. And though i know it wasn't as great or as good as Sis's. I know when you saw it, you were a bit proud. I also know that i've lessen your burden to put me through higher education. Thank you for believing in me always. =)


one eyed jet? =P

2nd, Ben. My prince, i'm soooo glad to have you in my life. I've always said the same phrase but it really feels like it, i was not lucky to have you, i was BLESSED to have you in my life. Thank you for being there when i needed you the most. Thank you for letting me rant, complaint, merajuk, and cry during my exam period. You were always there, encouraging me, supporting me through it all. =) Thank you for believing that i could do well and most probably the best. =D And also, thank you for Alex the lion. Without him, i wouldn't have slept well during STPM. And now, our future is much clearer instead of murky like it was a year ago. =)


i <3> you


3rd, Sandra. You...may not be the best person on earth in terms of encouraging me.. =P but you're always there whether i've been mean to you or NOT. Thank you for always believing in me and most probably one of the person who understands me the most. =)

4th, Jac. You are the person i've looked up to since i was 12. You didn't know it but i guess now you do. Yes, i look up to you because you're smart though a bit naive. And i was always trying my very best to succeed like you do and now, i think i have though i wasn't as good as you. Thank you for always listening to my rants and encouraging me to do well. =)


the hottest pic i have of you.

5th, Kristine. My closest and oldest friend. One of the person who knows and most probably understands me the most. If i ever need someone to support me, i know it would be you. If i ever need a really good opinion, it would be you too. Though we don't see each other much, we're still close despite i don't know who Nathan (izit Nathan?) is. But at least, i know who is Noel. =P just kidding! Thank you for being there, and your words of encouragement on monday. =) it did make me feel much better. =)


you look super fine here. =) though tricia have taken the whole space. =D

6th, Mel. Mel, Mel, We always say we're clossies. We are but hmm. we don't update with each other much. But it's okay for me. =) though i might not know much that's happening in you life, you know i'd always be here to listen like how you're always there to listen to me. Thanks for the thoughfulness of wishing me luck. =3 and most certainly, thanks for always leaving comments on my blog even though at times i didnt reply. =3


i know you <3>

7th, Darren. You are always there, staying neutral, not taking sides. Even so, i believe you do dislike people. heh! Anyway, thanks for everything. =) when i need someone for a favour, i know you'll always be there. =D thanks again! =D

8th, Chris Tan. We may not be close but you always make me feel very privillaged to listen to your rants and problems. =) and thank you for sharing your stories with me. I hope the best for you as you for me. Thank you for your words of encouragement and for supporting me. =)


9th, all my classmates and schoolmates especially Chui Kheng, Raymond, Wai Hong, See Yun, Amirul, and Nadira. You guys, i can't believe two years passed so fast! I had tons of fun with you people. And going through form 6 with you guys have been nothing but one of the most memorable thing ever. May this not be the last time we ever crossed path but many more to come. =) Thank you guys for always believing that i'll do well. =) Without all of you, life in school would have been boring. =)

and lastly, Mum. you are the only one person who's always hard on me. no matter how much i tried to please you or do you proud, it's never enough. But that's a good thing i guess, at least i strive and aim for the best. Even so, i wish you would noticed i'm growing up and with you being like that to me all the time, one day i'll grow out of it. grow out of trying to make you proud. but till then, i'll still do my best, to have you realize i'm NOT what you always think i am. still, thank you for being a poker face all the time. *ps: i know deep down somewhere, you were glad i did well." not showing it, just to make sure i don't get too proud with myself. just to make sure i stay humble after all. Thank you. =)

WTF!

My palms are sweaty. hell, my feet are too.


my stomach is BLOODY churning! my insides feel like falling out. i suddenly lost the appetite.


GOD! WHY NOWWWWWWWWW?


*sobs, sniffs, sobs*


I'm NOT through with the holidays yet! OMG! *sniffs*


when i need you the most, you're going to college! *brawls my head off*


WHY in the world did i missed out that news?! WHY in the world i signed in my email acc and saw that bloody piece of news posted on Kong Wey Keat's(1 Amanah class clown, remember?) blog TODAY!


i didn't believed it until.. i saw.. my fellow schoolmates posted something about the results on facebook. *&^%!


hyperventilates *breathe stephie, BREATHE!*


i just saw the news. heck and i even googled it.


STPM results is coming out on...


10th MARCH!


can i just keel over and so die?


the news was released last thursday and i'm "DAMN" lucky to find out today.


there goes my excitedness and everything else. *sigh*


i didn't exaggerate about the hyperventilating part. i was. i m suffering shortness of breathe. you know what? i think i'm gonna lie down for a bit. and most prolly, try to shop hard. can we go clubbing on monday night? i know i won't be able to sleep. hmm? hmm? anyone? =(

What Hurts The Most?

back when i was 17.



By Rascal Flatts.


I'm talking about the song. though it has been like 3 years but i still like the song though it brings back horrible memories. *shudders* it also reminds me of the cameron trip with kristine and her family. i was damn addicted to the song.



it's lost now.


What Goes Around Comes Around by Justin Timberlake reminds me of Redang for god-knows-what-reason. Amen.


What hurts the most? I say, i won't know it now though i've been cut before. deeply. but that was like so long ago. so now whenever people talk to me about it, i know how it feels. the pain. the agony. the sleepless nights. the loss appetite. the tears. the part that's lost from your very soul.


sometimes, memories are not lost. they are just hide themselves after a long time.


but then, i think that's not the worst as there are other feelings just as bad. unrequited love. or knowing you already have that person but you can't have him/her due to unseen circumstances. I suppose, i understand why it makes people feel depressed. being rejected is also bad. i think i've been rejected before. it wasn't that bad because it was just a stupid rebound crush. LOL.


Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood.


er, not that i've been cheated la. okay. i was. in another way. but it wasn't the i-found-him-in-the-bed-naked-with-another-girl kinda cheat but it does hurt the same. When a relationship is based on lies, lies and more lies, there ISN'T a foundation there. the worst part is finding out the lies, not white ones but those with the mean to hide something.


emo-period.


*sigh* i see people emo around me. i also emo. =/


i'm easily influenced. emotionally. which is a rather bad thing.


1st, one of my clossies.


2nd, he, who comes to me when he needs someone for an opinion.


3rd, she who says she falls in love with shayne ward's I Cry (which is f-ing emo).


4th, i just got a bunch of emo songs from Ben. (-_-")


5th, i feel so lonely.


ps: i should really be more cheerful. *sigh*