Friday, August 20, 2010

Goodbye Memories.

I am saying bye bye to this blog and i have moved to another one. still with blogspot. but another address. text me to find out the new address. :)

and i wanna say, Thank you to those who faithfully follows my blog though it withered and died. haha. :)

take care people, and see you when i see you. :)

Goodbye memories.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Back? Not quite.

Yes, it has been a long while since i last updated my blog. For some reasons, the need to write feels less and less. The need to express myself just went away. It really made me wonder up till now to why i just abandoned writing. I used to love expressing myself, playing with words and stuff but somehow, that part of me left. It just went away like gone with the wind or something. haha.

So, what have i been up to? Oh, i have been in this turmoil of searching for myself when there were days where it sucks really bad. I was hating myself, hating some people around me. I was trying to shut out the world, to just live my life one day at a time. I was searching for the real me and I still am. There were days where tears were my only companion. There were days that I convinced myself that it will only make me stronger. And i grew more and more dependent on him. Week after week, there is nothing that i look forward to but him. And then, he has to be taken away from me for the next two years due to studies.

It has never strike me that THAT would be the reason. I was toyed with that idea for awhile but the idea just seem so impossible. And then there are people whom I considered great confidante turns out to be not what i thought but i discovered friends who can be. And that i suppose is a win-win situation? There were days where people just don't get how i feel. There were days where they just get frustrated. That is when i was left thinking, if you can't deal with me then just leave me alone.

The emo days were there but there were also some days where i feel utterly happy like i wasn't carrying that heavy, hatred, whatever you call it, burden. Then there was the trip last year that made things a bit better and this round's is just as good.

Now the only thing i am contemplating is, to continue writing or just leave it. Afterall, my first paragraph already mentioned that the need to express myself is just no longer here. I suppose closing down is a good thing eh? :) and then totally immerse myself in my old world, reading and gaining more vocabulary. And maybe sometime later, the need to play around with words would come back to me. :)

what says you? just don't tell me i need to go tanjung rambutan. (-_-")

Friday, September 18, 2009


i just want to be there.

The long awaited break has finally arrived! Yeap, it's not like i'm celebrating Raya but you know what? i really need the week long break and would most probably cry after when it's over. Zzz.

On a happier note, i've finally did something to my unruly rebellious hair! spot the new look!

ignore my wrinkled Winnie the Pooh shirt.

That look reminds me of form 4- lower 6 period. LOL. seriously, i look so young now! okay, maybe just a tad bit younger but still younger! haha. I miss my curls but with dyed hair, curls only makes the hair drier. Now, it's straight sleek and shiny. me like! thinking of colouring my hair back to black, then i'd look even younger!

This week has been okay. a little on the down side. Why? the amount of work, the lack commitment and cooperation, puasa no puasa, i feel like blowing up at the world. i am like a volcano waiting to erupt.

damn cute! me <3>

I don't like group work. Never like them. Actually i don't mind if we get to choose our group mates, i really don't mind that. that's cause you wont resent the world even if your groupmate doesn't do squat. But if the group's assigned by some other people, it's a disaster. We don't understand each other, some doesn't do shit, some do all the shit. Some wanna do shit but because the rest isn't acting like they give a shit, worries like shit!

and unfortunately, i fall into the "wanna do shit but because the rest isn't acting like they give a shit, worries like shit" category thank you. of course i'd be fair. I realized only two other group mate DID something where else the rest, i am sorry to say, sometimes i wonder what are you guys doing here at all. I won't say which group, i won't say who. You know who you are. And after Raya, buckle up! *grrrrr!*

Anyways, for the week, i've plan to revise! yeap! stephie wishes to do that and hopefully stephie fulfills it! ohhhhh, ohhh! i wanna watch Gamer, A perfect Getaway, G force and and.. hmm.. other slasher flick! The few weeks after raya, it'd be like shit again. actually, even worse. owh well, no pain no gain right?

because i can be as free as i want to be.

and i'll be as free as the butterfly after finals. then australia, here i come! =) oh yeash, it's confirmed. I'm going to australia from 14th nov to 8th dec! can't wait! X)

Friday, September 11, 2009

To Those Who Feel Like Giving Up.

I miss my form 6 life. I miss my classmates. I miss practically everything about it. And right now, right now, i feel alright. The past few weeks had been difficult. I kept on thinking about giving up. And well, i know there're people out there who feels the same way or something like that.

I guess i'd take this opportunity to dedicate a song for you guys.

Title: My Wish
Artist: Rascal Flatts

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

Friday, September 4, 2009

I am Back!

back then.

Hey people!

i know. i know. i've been away for far too long and you guys no longer wanna visit my blog anymore huh? =)

it has been such a long hiatus.

I am sorry for not fulfilling my promise of updating my blog. truly sorry! well, the reason why i haven't been doing so is because i've been so caught up with my uni life. let's just say, it sucks a huge time and i have been having doubts on whether i should continue with my course. well, ben managed to convinced me and so has ming yuen. thank you ming yuen for being there and for noticing the changes in me and manage to somehow, talk me out of those doubts and stuff. you're one of the best besides ben. =P

well, a lot has happened. trust me. especially the new addition in my family.

people, meet Baby Joey Gan Xing Qi!

just born!

and i'm gonna grow up and be a heart breaker.

baby joey is so adorable. she's gonna grow up beautifully, i really do believe that.

and you know what?

everyone loves her. =) even my cousins.hahaha.

i quote from Ryan.

"she's so cute! she look like a baby alien!"

like, wtf? which part? but i suppose that's how Ryan defines cute. hahaha.

alright, i'll update soon again. this time i promise and i will do it. =)

Sunday, July 26, 2009

I need time.

After a long holiday, it's kinda hard to get back with life especially one that is so busy.

i promised to blog soon but it looks like time is so not on my side. X)

I also thought that being a law student could be as free as kristine. i was dead wrong. I have classes everyday except for friday and sunday. Monday from 8am till 4pm. Tuesday 8am till 4pm. wednesday 8am till 8pm. thursday 8am till 3pm and saturday 9am till 12pm. with an hour break at some time or straight four hours together. packed right? and the stupid dorm community has a meeting almost everynite at 930 or 1030. then each student's required to join at least one society or association. (-_-"). guess what? i joined buddhist association. LOL. simply because the club doesn't require its members to be very active and get good marks.

Then there's this thing called FACT NIGHT. it's like prom only a smaller scale involving only students from their own faculty. aish. it's this coming saturday and newbies, namely, the first years are supposed to run the whole thing and do performance as well. guess what? a stick like person like me joined dancing instead of drama. wtf. why didnt i joined drama? *wails* meaning, this whole week, any free time will be used to practice dance moves. my god. i wanna chicken out.

on top of that, assignments and tutorial classes are starting this very week as well. *how to juggle everything la, wtf.*

and now i m emo. ben's sick. been taking care of him since yesterday. a lot of our plans are cancelled. *sigh*.

i haven't watch harry potter. and i am very emo about it.

i am very emo that my dad bought me nasi lemak this morning. why? coz i've to survive on malay food for the whole week and i come home expecting something like chu cheong fun for breakfast and i got nasi lemak instead.

i also, didn't have enough sleep. that pisses me off as well.


Monday, July 20, 2009


No place feels as good as that. Not even the most expensive hotel suite..*pause* okay, maybe the most expensive hotel suite might you know, alter the fact that it feels better than home but there's NO place like home.

well, i've had my taste of living away from home in a DORM. the horror. i know. where you shower in a shared toilet with a few cubicles with no hot water. where you can only get food at the cafeteria. where sometimes you have to survive on bread, buns, biscuit or cup noodles. it's not fun. where you have to travel in shuttle buses and missed it when you're 5 minutes late to the bus stop.

so the thing is, i'm in UKM now. The place is alright. but don't expect to see many chinese or indians. my room is..half of my room size at home.. and i have to share it with another girl named Kai Lee. She's also taking law course which makes it better. thank god we're both from nearby or else i would feel bad leaving her alone whenever i go home on the weekend. my schedule now still look okay but it's gonna be super packed by the fourth week. *sigh* it makes me wonder if i had made the wrong decision but on the more positive note, all the activities here are to mould us into lawyers so that it'll be easier for us when we graduate. you know what? i can't wait for that day to come and i'm not even 2 weeks here.

why did i say there's no place like home?

home, you have your parents and you sibling/s. your meals are provided. you have the tv and computer to yourself. hell you even have your own bathroom in your room. home, also a place where alll your close friends dwell in 5km radius. at home, you can even have snacks. biscuits, sweets, cold drinks and etc. you even have your very own comfortable bed with comforter and 2 or 3 fluffy pillows not to mention your soft toys. i m thinking of my bennie bunnie and mmer mmer. XD

here.. you can't have all those.

*sigh* i m getting more homesick as i talk abt it. i better shush it or else. *shudders*

it's weird you know. i hate going to camps. i basically hate leaving home and now i am not home. and i do feel homesick but.. not THAT bad. most probably i am taking in the comfort of knowing home is just 20km away and that my parents will come an hour after one phone call of asking them to come pick me up. and also, the comfort of knowing that i'm not alone in this, that other people are facing it too. that this is the beginning of my life as an adult, too.

i hate growing means spreading your wings and leaving the nest. i am slowly doing that. and it's gonna be a long process, as i see it.

kristine, now i know why you were crying on your 20th birthday. it does suck when the realization hits me. and it's sorta hitting me now. =(

i guess that's all for now. will update as soon as i can. =) most probably it will be soon. =)

till then, take care people.=)