And it feels like this..

calming. serene. nostalgic.


I took a gamble. A gamble which MIGHT cost me my future. As in literally. Or not. I don't know. But still, i took it without weighing the consequences much. I just know, when i decided to do it, i'll give in everything that i could and to make sure things turn out the way i wanted it to be.


Surprisingly, it did.


i say we look really good here. =3


I was from Science Stream. Changing into Art's Stream was a really big step for me. I didn't have any Arts Foundation. I didn't know much about Economics nor Business Studies. And i opted for these two subjects plus History (now, if anyone doesn't know a bit of it, then i've got nothing to say lar.. xD )

For the 1st two months, i was actually struggling. I didn't understand much about Econs or business studies. Basically, i was pretty blur. And at that time, i was really afraid. I was afraid that i made the wrong decision. It's like starting a whole new life altogether.

Then i pull myself together and force myself to understand. Which, sort of work? Thinking in a new perspective. Thinking LIKE econs. And thinking like a Business woman. It worked pretty okay for me.


Pn.Norishah, the datin in our hearts. <3>


Honestly? I've never scored really well for my business paper 1, and history paper 2. i struggled really hard for these two papers. Always trying my best to write the answers the teachers wanted. Even so there were a few teachers who encouraged us a lot. =) Pn. Norishah, Pn.Dyanthi, Pn.Siti Meriam and Pn.Che Rusidah but Pn.Norishah was the one that makes us feel like she's our mum. I heart her can? Almost wanted to ask her to become my Kai Ma earlier. =P


So yeah, as you guys know, today was the BIG day! I woke up around 8 something? The night before i had to drink a bottle a beer before going to sleep which work like a magic potion! in within 30 mins of consuming it, i totally KO-ed till the next day. Ben stayed over. =3 He did a lot of things to get my mind of the whole result thing which worked like magic. I did forget about the whole thing until.. 11am. That was went i felt the panic bile rising AGAIN! Waited another 30 mins before getting ready because my mum had some work for me but it was a false alarm. cheh!


Without you guys being there by my side throughout the whole journey, my success wouldn't mean anything. (Amirul, Raymond, Wai Hong, Nadira, and yours truly. Missing from the picture: Chui Kheng and See Yun)


Reached school around 12.15pm. Results were released. It was damn obvious where the results thing would be. The tables were set up in the foyer! O_O *gulps* *hearts beat faster* *The theme from Psycho started playing in my head* then i saw Pn.Norishah. Instantly i felt so much relax. Okay, i was still panicking! Flora was looking at her results and... her face didn't look okay... and then i was thinking "DIE LO! If she look like that, i better be prepared to look like that too!"

And.. *jeng jeng jeng!* it was my turn to take a seat. Pn.Norishah was smiling at me. (Of course she has to smile, or else you'll feel damn bad okay!) then i smiled. She asked me to look for 2 Certs. School leaving Cert and my testimonial. I was shaking when i looked through the papers. And then she couldn't stand it anymore. Yeah, she was like a balloon waiting to burst the confettis out of her. She went like "Steph, CONGRATULATIONS!" Steph went like "huh?" , shocked. She continued.. "You've scored STRAIGHT A's!" For a moment, i was like so dumb founded. I just stared. The happiness building up in me. "Teacher, are you joking?"

She smiled and said, "Serious! You scored straight A's!" I started crying! God, embarassing can? She was shaking my hand when i just blurted out "I'm GOING to U.M!" and her eyes was red and teary, like she was gonna cry for me too. She nodded and said happily," yes! you're going to UM!" and i took a full 2 minutes of crying, teachers from other tables whipped out their phone and started taking pictures of me. Swt Betul. Then i teared my results slip. It was.. straight A minus. DAMN! i didn't thought of A minus. My sis scored A's without the minus. So basically i lost to her by 0.33 pointers overall. Pif!

Then phone calls and messages came in. Thank you to those who called and send in messages! =)


we were all in it together. =)


I was thinking naively also. I was thinking, my mum would look at me in a new light, that i wasn't the failure of the family at all. in fact, i was just as good. but then, that thought was crushed when she called and asked me about my results. i told her i got straight A's. then she asked for my pointer which i told her. Wanna know what was her reaction? "Why so LITTLE?".. i was stunned.. and i wanted to cry again. I mean, i worked so f-ing hard to earn a little bit of appreciation and all i've got is.. "why so little?!" i went like.. "How much do you want then? it's like one of the best already." then she asked.. "will it get you into NUS?"

I was pissed. My aunt was brain washing her for 5 months about it. and she succumbed to it. I DON'T want to go NUS. I didn't work for that and i'm not about to let someone like her to whipped me away from here. *&^%!

Oh well, doesn't matter now. There are a few people that i'd love to say thanks to regardless they WILL read it or NOT.



you look the handsomest when you smile. i always thought you look like Jet Li when you were young. teehee~


1st person would be my dad. Thank you for being there for me all the time. Even when i did not do you proud (SPM) , you didn't look down on me nor shunned me for it. you always say doesn't matter what the outcome is as long as you've tried your best for it. i know you were dissapointed but you hid it well. Even so, it hurts to see you hiding it like that. What i have done and achieved today, i did it for me and for you. And though i know it wasn't as great or as good as Sis's. I know when you saw it, you were a bit proud. I also know that i've lessen your burden to put me through higher education. Thank you for believing in me always. =)


one eyed jet? =P

2nd, Ben. My prince, i'm soooo glad to have you in my life. I've always said the same phrase but it really feels like it, i was not lucky to have you, i was BLESSED to have you in my life. Thank you for being there when i needed you the most. Thank you for letting me rant, complaint, merajuk, and cry during my exam period. You were always there, encouraging me, supporting me through it all. =) Thank you for believing that i could do well and most probably the best. =D And also, thank you for Alex the lion. Without him, i wouldn't have slept well during STPM. And now, our future is much clearer instead of murky like it was a year ago. =)


i <3> you


3rd, Sandra. You...may not be the best person on earth in terms of encouraging me.. =P but you're always there whether i've been mean to you or NOT. Thank you for always believing in me and most probably one of the person who understands me the most. =)

4th, Jac. You are the person i've looked up to since i was 12. You didn't know it but i guess now you do. Yes, i look up to you because you're smart though a bit naive. And i was always trying my very best to succeed like you do and now, i think i have though i wasn't as good as you. Thank you for always listening to my rants and encouraging me to do well. =)


the hottest pic i have of you.

5th, Kristine. My closest and oldest friend. One of the person who knows and most probably understands me the most. If i ever need someone to support me, i know it would be you. If i ever need a really good opinion, it would be you too. Though we don't see each other much, we're still close despite i don't know who Nathan (izit Nathan?) is. But at least, i know who is Noel. =P just kidding! Thank you for being there, and your words of encouragement on monday. =) it did make me feel much better. =)


you look super fine here. =) though tricia have taken the whole space. =D

6th, Mel. Mel, Mel, We always say we're clossies. We are but hmm. we don't update with each other much. But it's okay for me. =) though i might not know much that's happening in you life, you know i'd always be here to listen like how you're always there to listen to me. Thanks for the thoughfulness of wishing me luck. =3 and most certainly, thanks for always leaving comments on my blog even though at times i didnt reply. =3


i know you <3>

7th, Darren. You are always there, staying neutral, not taking sides. Even so, i believe you do dislike people. heh! Anyway, thanks for everything. =) when i need someone for a favour, i know you'll always be there. =D thanks again! =D

8th, Chris Tan. We may not be close but you always make me feel very privillaged to listen to your rants and problems. =) and thank you for sharing your stories with me. I hope the best for you as you for me. Thank you for your words of encouragement and for supporting me. =)


9th, all my classmates and schoolmates especially Chui Kheng, Raymond, Wai Hong, See Yun, Amirul, and Nadira. You guys, i can't believe two years passed so fast! I had tons of fun with you people. And going through form 6 with you guys have been nothing but one of the most memorable thing ever. May this not be the last time we ever crossed path but many more to come. =) Thank you guys for always believing that i'll do well. =) Without all of you, life in school would have been boring. =)

and lastly, Mum. you are the only one person who's always hard on me. no matter how much i tried to please you or do you proud, it's never enough. But that's a good thing i guess, at least i strive and aim for the best. Even so, i wish you would noticed i'm growing up and with you being like that to me all the time, one day i'll grow out of it. grow out of trying to make you proud. but till then, i'll still do my best, to have you realize i'm NOT what you always think i am. still, thank you for being a poker face all the time. *ps: i know deep down somewhere, you were glad i did well." not showing it, just to make sure i don't get too proud with myself. just to make sure i stay humble after all. Thank you. =)

And I say Goodbye 2008 and Welcome 2009. =D

2008 is nothing but another year to our memories. =(

honestly, i don't know what to summarize about my year. i've been through a few ups and kinks.

so 2008 started without much of a kick to be honest. hahaha! just kidding~ well, it started of with me celebrating new year with friends. =) and then went through some turmoil and dreamland, there was a lot a of happiness but at the same time there was an adequate amount of sadness and emo-ness.

all that's left, is just a memory.

Health:

All year round, stephie had been healthy except for a few fevers, sorethroats and flu. Stephie hadn't been exercising much, just a lot of walking hence the flabbiness these days. and also, stephie hadn't been eating healthily. lots of junk food. chips, sweet, sour plums, fried stuff and etc.

Studies:

Studies was alright i guess. okay. Stephie hadn't been completing lots of assignments and totally regretted the all year-round laziness during the exams. Otherwise, Stephie had been revising and studying for each exam and had dutifully tried her best in everything. Another thing that Stephie regretted is, not attending all the extra curricular activites, hence the low mark. About her exams, She had been pretty depressed during that month. She suffered and brokedown almost everyday and vowed to never ever follow her parents bidding when it comes to studies. =D


and i love her sial.


Personal:

Stephie made a few friends though not close. Still sticking to the old ones, hanging out occasionally. Of course, there have been a few misunderstandings among peers. family relationship wise, stephie have been getting along well with them except a few kinks and heated arguments with the gemini (mum). for some reason, this sagittarian here can't get along well with gemini. and it seems to be a proven fact. so sod those horoscope books about saggitarians get along well with geminis when in fact, a sagittarian like me does NOT. i repeat, does NOT get along well with gemini. i get along well with pieces (daddy and bennie), capricorn (Kristine n CK), Leo (Sandra), Librans like Yuyan n Mel and urmmmmm.. Scorpio (elder sis and a few others)


when we are suppose to look good.

Love wise, it has been great. a few arguments here and there but nothing big. =) still a lot more to understand ben. learn a great deal about his family and relatives. =) especially like his little cousin Kim. xD she's cute! xD


over the years.


Financial:

Very happy to declare broke. for some reason, i spend a lot this year. =( so yeah, broke. and will get a job right after CNY. i m thinking of kindergarten teacher or tuition teacher for kids. LOL. But of course, the gemini in my family will NOT allow. She likes to see her daughter becoming a clerk n suffer sleepless night working for the elder sis. yeah wey. One of my sis's company clerk was so bloody stressed till he suffered from insomnia. he wanted to hand in resignation letter but the boss wouldn't allow and gave him a 2-4 weeks holiday to recover. man, if i were him, i'll throw the letter in. no job is worth sacrificing my health!


and i have faith it will last with more sweet moments to come.

and i say welcome 2009! xD May this year be better than the last in all aspects! xD especially the money and studies part. =P this year would be a diff year as i m soon to be a uni student, doing my bachelor degree in.. whatever course that i might b taking in the future. =) and urhm... if i get accepted to local uni, i'd be so far from home.. *sobs and sniffs*

My Love by S.L instead of J.T!

Yesterday was a bit of a crazy day. Why?


it was held in palace of the golden horses.


Ben and i headed of to Palace Of The Golden Horses for my school's form 6 farewell party. the party was a simple one consisting of the upper six students along with a few invited teachers and guests. =) it was great although there wasn't much activities. =3


emcee of the day. Tan Cai Fung and Raymond Tan Kiang Wee.


We were supposed to be in the restaurant itself but because the organizers ( namely the two emcees and CK, we were sitting outdoors. i was thinking tents and etc, and that it'll be blazing hot and all but luck was on their side, it was drizzling and we were under cemented roof and not the tents that i thought we'll be in. =) the emcees were great entertainers and so were the performers (my fellow schoolmates)



our view. =) of greeneries and the lake! =) lovely!


and here are a few more pics with/without me because i sorta left early.. =)



ben and i. =)




wai hong and moi. =) he's a really wise person despite his looks! =D



CK and I. the oily faces. *giggles*




my classmates and class teacher. (i left the place already without taking this pic! )



laura (from germany), Stephanie (the jilter planner), Amirul ( the best dressed dude), and CK (the jilted planner)



another addition to the fam. raymond (the emcee)



Then ben and i have to leave early because he wants to go One U to retreive some free goodies which worth quite a lot. and so we left with laura because she wants to attend another party in KL. so the 3 of us left and missed out the rest of the fun. =(


after sending her off to the sg.besi lrt, ben and i headed to One U then he made a phone call to confirm if the office is open but alas, too bad, it wasn't. then he decided to bring me to the curve. YAY! Flea market, here i come!



accessories. people. bargains!


One look at the whole place, i've already fallen in love with it. i actually spend about 2 hours walking the whole place, stopping at each stall to purchase stuff! and, after so long, i spend quite a lot on unnecessary stuff there. ekk! i bought earrings, necklace, charm bracelets and also hair clip! it all come up till abt rm60. mad huh?



all light up and beautiful!



us at lecka lecka.


Owh, ben also won to free tickets to watch any movie in cathay cineplax a week back, therefore, we decided to use it. in the end, we got good couple seats for the movie Eagle Eye. It was good but definitely NOT my type of movie and i was fidgetting quite a lot during the whole movie. ekk!

and then we went home at abt 9 something because we're both exhausted but that doesn't mean i can't show off what i bought. *smiles evilly*


and here goes, i'll start bragging.. xD


the earring rack i bought for sandra's birthday. quite a few of my earrings are on it too!



3 new addition from left. =)



chocolate cookie compact mirror. don't believe?



tadah!



necklace from somewhere. charm bracelet from the curve. =)



rose clip! <3>


urhh, i didn't buy that. it belongs to sandra and she was giving him a bath! =D


and THAT was my saturday. =)

Shopping Madness.

So, I said, i've decided to do my Chinese New Year shopping earlier this year because i had been doing SOOOO last minutes ones for the past few years, so i THINK it's time to start early for choosy people like me. What to do? I ain't a Harajuku gal. I ain't lala gal. I ain't following the taiwanese sense of dressing. I am Stephanie and it's getting hard to stay that way with those harajuku style catching up with the westerners. *shakes head* and i'm small sized. petite. PIFFIE! >=3


i love myself.


Anyway, I bugged Ben to bring me go shopping. the cash didn't come from my own pocket so.. TEEHEE! but that doesn't mean i spend it all on branded stuff. I spend it WISELY. Ask Ben if you don't believe! So off we go for our shopping. Went to some warehouse where they have all those branded stuff on 90% off! whoppeee! but sadly those levi's jeans were SOLD OUT! NUUUU! At the end, Ben managed to get a few shirts from levi's and quicksilver.. talk about unfairness!


the vainee!


Anyway, i seriously had nothing to blog about. I don't think shopping, just shopping is gonna make into an interesting post. Hmm, while i was having lunch at burger king, i saw someone which i've viewed her profile before, she seems familiar la BUT she was staring at me too. I was thinking, am i that weird looking?! Owh well, and i swear I saw someone who looks exactly like fish leong! You don't know her? OMG! Go here and click on IMAGES. Type her name.

I didn't take a pic of her la of course. Later people think i'm a lesbian or something. as it's bad enough i got stared in burger king, i don't wanna attract more attention than i already have. (ps: I meant attention from BEN, Sandra and The Gal Who Stared At Me)

Shopping is always a real tiring event for me. I sometimes hate shopping for new year because.. well, because, i don't really like waiting in line just to try on the clothes i've pick and get turned off by the freaking prices. The one who I totally sympathize that day is Ben, not only he has to follow me and sandra around, he had to carry a bottle and our bags. Especially my handbag when he is waiting for me. =(

mr.benjamin tan

Though Sandra and i shopped the longest, Ben got the most stuff in about an hour to 2 hours time. I love his shirt from Zara~ xD (ps: i find SOME chinese guys in long sleeved shirt looks yummyliciousz).

In the end, I only managed to get a Red top and a skirt in that few hours of walking. Sandra only got ONE freaking top. I plan on continuing it this weekend! Ben can be excused if he wants to. =P (ps: he said i was soooooo into shopping that i sorta neglected him. =( Sorry Dear! )

D'lish. I love the cupcake from there. The heavenly taste of the chocolate. You'll ask for more. I've said it once, i am NOT ashamed to say it TWICE or thrice or more than that. D'lish should seriously pay me for sorta advertising them! eesh!

The D'lish Cupiecake.

the eaten cupcake and the artist.


her artwork.


Besides the cupcake in D'lish, I also love the lighting! seriously! it makes YOU look SO much better in pictures. and therefore, i shall..

uh huh.


we, i mean me. i m getting so predictable!

oops! sorry! but i don't miss a chance posting up pictures of the good lookings so, well, she's SINGLE! =P


Though i just advertised my sister. No, she's NOT for sale. Nor is she available for anything. You want her number? 012-90***** . go figure yourself. =P

Anyway, i better be off now. Sleepy. My sleep is calling out to me and i shall bid you, my fair readers goodnight...though it's 3pm in the afternoon... teehee~!

Charity Dinner~!

Charity dinner last saturday was at this old clubhouse in Shah Alam, i seriously forgot the name of the place.. I think it was called Shah Alam Royal Club House or something. It was actually a harmonica championship cum raising fund for the blind. They even invited a few professional harmonica players from US and Thailand. Overall, the evening was quite good i think. =) the food was quite okay. simple chinese 5 course dinner BUT i love the desert! teehee!


(saw the wynners in leisure mall. Our parents's era singers, i was actually walking beside one of them without realizing who are they! lol!)


So, in the morning, went out to Leisure Mall with Ben coz he needed to fix his dad's cam but it was under warranty at some other shop, the dealer refuse to touch the cam, afraid they might spoil it or something. eeshh! his effort was wasted! *i mean driving from my place to leisure mall was far! have to pay rm4.80 for the to and fro toll somemore!*

Anyway, we left at 5.45pm for the charity "event" because my parents don't really know the way, and ben was plain guessin the way! thank god he got the right way or my mum would sooo.. nag? LOL! Since i was in the car, and he has a pretty good cam phone, i can't help but...


CAMWHORE!! HAHAHAHAHAH!


Good hair day~! *smiles cheekily!*

trying to be yummyliciousz! ekk!




the famous stephanie pose. according to ben anyway. i don't think it's! PIF!


i wonder what my parents would say if they know he was actually driving at the time we pose for this pic.. (-_-") i can so imagine their reaction!


candid. deep in her thoughts. =)

Dinner was suppose to start at about 7. they said sharp but we waited for 30 mins. owh the typical malaysian dinner. =/ it is never sharp at the mentioned time. So early of the performance, the urmm.. blinds performed. it was quite cute.. =) surprisingly one of them had a really good voice.. =) they were singing and playing really basic instrument, but one of them was playing the guitar! amazing isnt it? =) *sorry, no pics as we were eating at the same time*.. =(

after we finish our food. we were left with so much time to.. urmm.. camwhore.. and more camwhore.. =X


ben looks sleepy. i look like me. sandra looks.. sad? xD


he didn't had any sour cream. he was just posing! =D


(-_-") when roy said he put on weight! =P



he cracks us up silly!!


her smile when ben does those silly poses. =) pure loveliness. =)


i love this pic! =) *sorry ben, we need our sisterly moments!*


my dad says we(ben and i) have the same smile and lips. O.O!

So, after all the camwhoring season, the professionals finally made their grand performance! it was quite entertaining really, the thais, they give harmonica music a whole new meaning!


the thai profesional harmonica players. =) catchy tune and rhythms. great body language too! =P

Harmonica Bob was more entertaining. he seriously awed the audience with his humor, voice and talent! he even gave out free cds BUT we weren't so lucky to get it.. =(



he was exactly how i imagined him to be!

the night ended with a few performance by the local orchestra band. it was pretty small but it was pretty good. believe it or not when i say 2 of the members are my cousins?

the sleeveless lady on the left and the dude beside her aka my cousins.


i was listening to the music and suddenly i noticed that dude. i went like "mum, dad, the dude looks a lil like Ken doesnt he?" and my parents were like.. yeahhh.. and we noticed his sister was there and confirmed they were who we thought they were. we waved at them but i think he was quite surprised, i seriously doubt there're any audience who waved at them before. hahaha! but ben think they are stuck up coz they didn't smile or anything.. *shakes head*

at the end of the day, it was quite okay..


our last photo of the day.

i cant say charity dinner rock our asses but hey, i enjoyed myself. it was an eye opener and definitely one of those nights where it's.. not common? hahaha!