As i sit here and wonder.
As i look out into the cloudy sky.
i see the clouds moving slowly across the sky.
I look into the grass to see what i wanted to see.
tall green grass, flowers, and butterflies fluttering in and out.
I wish to be. only me.
I wish to hear a lot of words from you.
I wish you could utter those words to me.
"you don't always have to be at par with her.."
I feel small having to be put beside her.
I feel vulnerable. naked. infront of the audience eyes.
but you, you, you..
will never say those words.
i am tired.
tired of proving myself to be an equal.
yet.. i m not willing to give up without a fight.
why, why, why
the words echoes in my mind.
because i am me.
I don't want to be put next to her.
i don't want everyone to look at me the way i'm supposed to be.
i want them to look at me like they're looking at Steph.
I want to do what i want to do
and yet, and yet..
i am doing things to please you and the rest
and it works that way.
that is how i feel.
not given a chance to prove i can fly.
not given a chance to show i could sing in a different way.
not given an opportunity to show i could maybe.. maybe.. dance..
and sometimes i ask myself..
is this really what you want?
i'll answer perhaps yes, perhaps no..
i was given a chance not a choice,
to live up to your standard.
to be the bird in the cage.
and freed one day.. one day..
it seems so.. faraway..
freedom is just..there..
*ps: feeling all tensed as midterm approaching and i can't answer questions during class today.*
Friday, April 11, 2008
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3 comments:
Well, I aso wonder the question that day too. Just be ursef. otherwise i lost a listener o.o. hehe. Cheer up!
erm...look like u in doubt mood or feeling stress mood...either 1 of it,just be urself...we will always be there for u when u needed us and u don have to pretend to be some1 else...so,take care ya...while i study my days and nights away in college...haiz...
yeash!
u understand me! x3
i'm in doubt, still am.. but shall get over it soon, i hope! teehee~
dont stress urself too much, i know u can do it~ xD
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