To Be Me.

As i sit here and wonder.

As i look out into the cloudy sky.



i see the clouds moving slowly across the sky.

I look into the grass to see what i wanted to see.

tall green grass, flowers, and butterflies fluttering in and out.

I wish to be. only me.



I wish to hear a lot of words from you.

I wish you could utter those words to me.

"you don't always have to be at par with her.."

I feel small having to be put beside her.

I feel vulnerable. naked. infront of the audience eyes.

but you, you, you..

will never say those words.



i am tired.

tired of proving myself to be an equal.

yet.. i m not willing to give up without a fight.

why, why, why

the words echoes in my mind.

because i am me.






I don't want to be put next to her.

i don't want everyone to look at me the way i'm supposed to be.

i want them to look at me like they're looking at Steph.

I want to do what i want to do

and yet, and yet..

i am doing things to please you and the rest

and it works that way.




that is how i feel.

not given a chance to prove i can fly.

not given a chance to show i could sing in a different way.

not given an opportunity to show i could maybe.. maybe.. dance..


and sometimes i ask myself..

is this really what you want?

i'll answer perhaps yes, perhaps no..

i was given a chance not a choice,

to live up to your standard.

to be the bird in the cage.

and freed one day.. one day..

it seems so.. faraway..



freedom is just..there..


*ps: feeling all tensed as midterm approaching and i can't answer questions during class today.*