I've finally experienced another form of emotion so bad that i feel like it's the end of the world.
I know i'm exaggerating badly as usual but seriously..
it feels exactly like the heartache after a bad break up. like, you start thinking back about the past, the way you feel and etc. this is equally that bad but different kind of memories.
my broken heart. on its way to healing.. yes it is..I stayed up till 12 last nite just so i'd get my results which i've been mentioning the past few blogs. my muet result. i stayed up till 12.45 when the results came in..
it goes like..
MB362/1054
(my ic number)
Muet Score:
Band Achieved: 5
I was well, sort of shocked. i was hoping for band 6. yeah, i know i'm greedy. and so i refused to believed i've gotten band 5 and actually blamed it on my eyes thinking it's just coz they're soooo tired that they have mistaken the 6 for a 5. i went to sleep.
i woke up this morning, feeling a tad bit disappointed still. i looked at the sms again. it's the same. the number did NOT change.
*sigh*Went to school. i was starting to accept the fact that i've gotten band 5. and i was well, sort of getting contented about it. i mean, min requirement for local uni law in muet is band 5 so i am glad i actually scored band 5.
5 mins before the school bell ring to tell us to go home. a MUET teacher came into my class (we were having asian history) and started giving out our results slips. i collected mine though i know i am a band 5 but still..
So this is what i see..
- 260-300 Band 6
- 220-259 Band 5
- 180-219 Band 4
- 140-179 Band 3
- 100-139 Band 2
- Below 100 Band 1
I almost screamed "WHAT THE F***?!" in the class but i did screamed. i went like.. "5 MORE EFFING POINTS TO BAND 6!!".. it hit me like a ton of rocks.. it felt so close yet so far.. Now i'm a believer of this phrase..
I got home and then i felt even more disappointed in myself. I have been studying english my whole life. i've been writing essays, short stories, poems for the past 5 years of my life and this is what i got.. an EFFING band 5..
Then without me noticing, the tears started pouring down my face like waterfall.. and my heart ache and well, most of all, i feel sooooo disappointed.. Band 6 means a lot to me for god-knows-why.. *sigh* but i guess, i can't push my luck huh?
Disappointment, i guess, i've taken a small dose of it now.. and to be honest, it doesn't taste good at all.. heck it taste exactly like the pain of a heartbreak.. i am serious..
One lesson learned though, i need to work harder to achieve a much better result. No silly, i ain't resitting MUET. well, i m just gonna start working on for my real STPM. =)
*still feeling melancholic*
6 comments:
hmmmm...Maybe I shouldnt take MUET...i dont want to go tru a terrible break up...=/ tee hee! but 5 is pretty good what..no worries! as long we know you are good in english can d...exams do weird stuff to people...not everyone will do good in exams...though they are good and smart...so..exams...piece of paper..ntg to worry much la! as long u can converse well in english can d lar...xD
hahaha, maybe you should.. =3 i'm pretty sure you'll get band 6 no doubt.. =3
well, i was this close.. "show a small space between my forefinger and thumb".. *sigh*.. i'm still feeling the heartache now.. =/ it's disappointing really u know..
but like you've said, it's good enough.. =3 and exactly what you've said, exams do weird stuff to ppl and i'm one of it.. hahahaha.. =D
i saw some of my message to you, and some of ur reply in there as well. glad it came in to u.
don't be too disappointed. but hor, i really wanna to squeeze both ur necks. dey, if i take I band 3 pun tak dapat tau! ish ish..
work harder, future lawyer.. LOL. :)
Hey chill out okay,band 5 is good :) well although u were close but its okay..like u say,work hard in another thing now which is ur stpm..chill yeahh ~ ur still good okay :)) chillchill ~~ dont be disappointed too long aight ~ see ya soon!
chris: yeash yeash, thanks for being there and saying wat was on my mind at that mo.. =) truly appreciated it.. =3
melody: well, yeash, it's good. =3 and yeash, i will work harder for my stpm. =) don't worry, i'm over it already. =D catch you around soon! =)
wth...i tho u break up with ben the way u write from the starting..jezz...band 5 only ma,at least u still can masuk in uni and still fine what...u should be happy with what u get la...chill,exam is just a piece of crap paper to pass while outside life is a real B**** to work k...
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