Smiles~ =)

"Why are you crying? " i asked. She looked at me as though i'm crazy. I stared right back at her. Her eyes, red and swollen, tears wouldn't stop flowing from them. She offered no effort to answer my question. I sit right beside her, looking around the world. It's amazing how humans are. They laugh, they cry, they sulk, they whine, they complain, they do all the stuff that i can never really understand. sometimes they laugh till they cry and they cry till they laugh. isn't that a pure sign of madness?


the lovely-ness of a roses. =) beautiful yet deadly with torns.

I slowly get up and walk around the garden. Leaving her to cry. I found some rose bushes. To hell with that sign. I shall just pluck one. They'll pardon me.. I HOPE.. I walk to her with the rose, when she saw me with the rose, there was a look a horror in her face. "What now?" i ask her, "can't i do something right to make you feel better?" I whined at her. She started smiling as i walk closer to her. and i gave her the rose and then she started crying again.. *sigh*.. how am i suppose to make her feel better.. i thought girls like roses! how wrong am i?! so again i walk around the the garden..



I finally found the perfect flower!! i remember once she told me that she adored this flower. I m the most typical guy ever.. i can't remember what flower is this.. urhh.. i think it's.. a... dairy.. NO.. not dairy, it's.. urhh.. Daishe.. NO.. it's not suppose to sound like that.. it's.. DAISY! owh well, to hell with the warning sign again. i shall just have one! i look around. Okay, there's nobody here. I pluck it as fast as a lightning hoping nobody caught me and quickly run to her with the flower. She looked at me in a confused way and again, i see the corner of her mouth curling up into a tiny smile. She hugged me and whispered.. "I wish he was just like YOU but he'll NEVER be," and there she goes, those salty precious water from her eyes began to flow again.. DAMNIT! why can't she stop? it hurts me to see her like this!

i start to walk around the garden again, hoping to find a better looking flower which would cheer her up..!

(ps: it's a dandelion)

Okay~! this thing looks sooo adorable! i think she would love it too! So again, i pluck it and walk to her.. this time, she didn't smile, instead she sobbed so much louder! OOOKAYYY! what did i do wrong here? She whined "He used to pluck me dandelions! and and.. " she sobbed louder.. i dropped it immediately and start looking for another perfect flower that would stop all the tears and sobbings.. GIRLS.. *rolls eyes*...


My eyes went large at the sight of these colourful ones. Alright. These shall do the trick!! i started plucking them, after i'm done plucking ALL of them, i begin my journey back to her.. then suddenly i felt someone pulling my collar! GOD! have i been caught plucking flowers?! owh hell yeahhh..i started arguing with the garden guard it was for a good reason but he wouldnt listen, so i said, "follow me to see her, you'll understand why i have been doing this!" he grunted and we took a slow walk back to her.

This time, she started laughing. i dont know if she's happy at the sight of these flowers or what but she started laughing! CRY! i yelled or else he wouldnt listen!! i handed her the flowers.. and i heard the guard said.. "MISS, plucking flowers in a public park is a serious offence, however i don't know who to charge. you or YOUR DOG?"

I look at her with my big puppy eyes.


Come on Lyre. You know i was doing it for you! do NOT hand me in! i whined. She explained to the park guard of what i was doing. He petted me on the head and went, "you're a sweet dog but you musn't pluck flowers anymore!"

Hey, i was just doing it to cheer Lyre up! PIFFIE!


*ps: it's all fictional, and it came to me spontaneously.. =) *

copyright of Stephanie Lee Shen Ling. 12.21pm of 19th Dec 2007.

Listen..

Feeling a little depressed and out of idea while i look through everyone else's blog, i start to listen. I can hear the birds chirping happily outside, i hear the water in the kettle, rumbling while being heated, i can hear my Hammie Jr trying to prison break.. *ps: he keeps biting the bar thinking that he has got the strongest set of teeth*.. someone talking pretty loudly outside, the cute puppies whinning for their mother, and the little kittens meowing for food..


* Sometimes i wish to be like a bird. To soar in the sky without boundaries, without a single worry. *

I can hear all the obvious, but one thing that i can never hear is what people are thinking. I don't wish to know what everyone is thinking since, it proved to be a really pain in the ass for Matt *the mind reader in Heroes series*.. but it wouldn't hurt to really understand what my parents are thinking.. My mum have the tendency to think that i'm wild when the truth is, i'm NOT.. Just two days ago, i was asking her permission to go for a birthday party.. well, it was ben's cousin's birthday party.. and she said NO because she thinks it involves booze and all because it was at angkasapuri.. but the truth is, she never ask me how old was the kid.. *he just turned SEVEN yesterday*..

My dad was okay with it. he didn't ask much and he just said okay. He does question at times but it makes me wonder why in the world my dad is always the one okay with everything while my mum keeps me in the cage.. *my house feels like a cage now*.. it's not like i've not been doing their bidding.. you will NEVER wanna know how much laundry i do.. *i hate laundry*.. ask ben, and he'll tell you the amount of clothes i handle each day.. it's NOT just clothes, my mum loves to wash the unnecessary, and i'll be the one handling it, all she does is throw them into the washing machine..


* cute! this is a real seal! it looks exactly like the soft toy ben gave sandra! xD *

Okay, i m running outta topic. But i'd really like to know what people are thinking. I'm NOT a freaking mind reader nor am i someone who likes to play with mind games. =/ i prefer people telling me straight although the truth could hurt a lot but it's better than guessing and more guessing. *sigh* What i hate about myself is that, i always wanna impress my mum when i know she'd never be.. =/ not till i get that law degree in a few years time and show it right to her face..

it used to be a challenge but now it's getting tiring, trying to be someone i'm not all when i'm with her. Sure she understands me here and there but what she never know is what i truly am. Owh well, maybe one day she would.. i hope..


* things would be fine when you look up instead of down. =) *

Well, Christmas is coming and so is Kristine's birthday~ Wheee~! it means pressie shopping without using my own money! Teehee~! but what i heard is that, there won't be any exchanging gifts this year.. *PIF, where's the Christmas mood in the adults?*. . . well, in another word, it means i dont have the reason to go shopping.. =(

Kristine, what do you want for your birthday? =( i'm seriously outta idea. Ur style of dressing change tremendously this year. i really have a hard time trying to figure out what you like now. =(

and it's getting harder that i've to get a christmas present for someone. damnit! i should have gone to the comic fiesta thingy with sandra and jin rui.. =/ i could do with some shopping for kristine and ben.. *oops..!* but before that, i need to get my cash.. *sensuous shennie is broke. money level = rm0.00*


* love shopping for people whom are dear to me but hate coming up with UNIQUE gifts *

Owh well, i hate being broke. and i just realize if i do have that mind reading cum controlling ability, i'll be able to rob a bank with NO sweat. =D and i can have practically everything i want. On the second thought, i think it's better to have Peter Petrelli's ability.. *grins* because, i can have all the superpowers.. *grins wider* and he's so much better than superman and batman.. PLUS he's FREAKING hot.. *oops, outta topic again*.. i am addicted to Heroes.. Teehee~

Have You Ever Sit In A Corner

Have you ever sit in a corner, wondering mindlessly and aimless questions? For me, i tend to think a lot.. about the future, about the past, about the present. When i see everyone else around me being emo, i ask why, when the truth is, i had been through the same thing which seems soooo long ago..

a candid in Jusco after dinner.

I'm now in a position where the people i know having their OWN emo moment. I don't know how to help them. Yeash, i can encourage them to move on. Yeash i can tell them what i think about what's going on. Yeash, i can be their mind talking when their heart is the one making decisions but the truth is, it's they THEMSELVES that have to make a decision whether it's right or wrong. in that emo state, they'll see wrong as right no matter what.

It hurts me to see the oblivious pain they're inflicting on themselves but what can i really do to make them feel better? I've said all the words they said to me, i've tried to be there when they need me but i realize it needs more than all that to make them feel so much better. We all know time heals wound, i used to doubt it, i used to wish time pass soooo much faster so that the wound would disappear but the truth is, the wound, differs from everyone. Time.. will not just heal the wound... it will make you realize too that, what you're hoping, what you're wishing is just..a hope and wish that may not be realistic at all..

a gift from ben to sandra. Cute isn't it? *she always get the cutest stuffs.* (-_-")


Some ppl change drastically after a traumatic break-up, being someone they are not, because.. simply because they want to protect themselves from being hurt again.. i say it's a good thing because you're guarded by the walls build around your heart.. Yeah, maybe you'll get into another relationship, but, have you ever sit in a corner and think, wonder why are you in this relationship? do you think you can slowly give the pieces of your heart to another person who could potentially smash what's left of your broken heart into smaller pieces? or are you just in a relationship because you love the feeling of being loved yet you give nothing in return?

Owh well, the sky's turning dark, better get the laundry in. shall update on last saturday's charity dinner thing as soon as i get all the pictures from Mr.Benjamin Tan. =P