Just Dance

People~

I've an announcement to make. I've finally got my appeal result and yes, i've got it.

I've UKM's Law. Obviously i didn't want UKM but the course is what i want. *sigh* and i didn't want to go for it but i guess i've no other choice. i argued with my parents, cried the whole night and day but to NO avail. so, i really have no other choice. owh well.

I'm not sure if i've to stay on campus or am i allowed to travel everyday. so we'll see how things work out tomorrow. everything happened so fast, things just came like that and honestly, i am quite shocked. my holiday has finally ended. =(


ps: the world is quiet and it doesn't hear you - Ben

Heroes.

Mohinder Suresh (as the narrator): The world isn't small but you are and fate will find you eventually.

Well, i'm okay now. the past 2 posts were very angst ridden. haha. i know. and it bores the shit out of people to have me repeating the same thing.

well, i haven't really sort out my life yet but wth right? i'll just go with the flow. my parents finally backed me. and i'll tell you, i'm very surprised by it.

on the other note, i'll have another 2 more months to bum around before the real thing starts. So what have i been doing? i've been a couch potato, watching series. HEROES from season 1 till season 3 had been real educating. LOL. seriously, i love the narration and sometimes the dialouge itself. And Peter Petrelli said something that i will, most probably live-by AGAIN. what do i mean by AGAIN? I was like what he said once but it didn't get me anywhere and then i changed, and it didn't get me anywhere as well. so i think, i'll just settled back to who i was. changes, might be good but sometimes, it isn't.

and that doesn't mean i will see things as naively as i was before.

CHUCK season 1 and 2 is really awesome. it's a nerds/geeks show. only nerds/geeks will understand it. scratch that. it is actually really nice and it's NOT at all geeky or nerdy. nerds/geeks and secret agents, nice! =) not to mention, it's really really funny.

now i'm on GOSSIP GIRL season 2.

okay, as you guys know, the gov has finally decided to scratch english for science and maths and reverting back to BM.

i THINK, it's a very very stupid move. make that idiotic. they have only tried english for like what 7 years? and they expect the students english at par with western countries? it's stupid. if these 7 years hasn't shown any improvement, it's like an alarm being sound. it shows how bad our english are. and they want things to go back to BM.

it doesn't matter if they added more time for english lesson. english is another language that needs practising whether it's writen or spoken. and their reason for terminating english is because the they ASSUMED rural students can't handle it. if they can't handle school level english, how are they gonna handle the world later? contracts, documents, reports, they are all written in english that is so formal, sometimes, i don't even know what is it and i totally give up on reading them.

thing is, they are protecting these people so much that they didn't realize they are destroying them and the generation after.

it's like the saying, give a person a fish for a meal and that person will ask for a fish for the rest of his life.

teach a person to fish for his meal, and he'll be able to fish for himself for the rest of his life.


the way things are, people will get too reliant on the gov. it's time to step out of the comfort zone. things may not be improving now but what about years later? 7 years for english is a very short time. if that 7 years were the age of human years, it means our english is still like a child. still growing. still have rooms for improvement. and they have decided to not continue it. what a waste of time and effort. they have just killed a child, metaphorically speaking.


on an ending note, you can't get a tree tomorrow if you've just planted the seed today.

Blah Blah Blah.. Blah Blah Blahhh!

Here i am.

Always searching for quote. Looking for something meaningful that can be applied to me or others. I've found a few but it's forgotten minutes i've heard it. I am so not a quote person.

I am currently very lost. It's definitely not depression. Just an early 20's crisis. I've been avoiding too many questions that needed answers and right now i'm being confronted by one that determines my future whether i want it or not.

Right now, i feel like a doll *at least it sounds nicer than a puppet!*. A doll always smiles at you because that smile is painted on it. You don't see a doll that frowns in anger, confusion, concentration or sadness. no. you will not see it because it's not there. a smile painted on my face but deep inside, i'm lost in confusion and anger and everything altogether.

it's funny how things can be so superficial. On the exterior, things are so beautiful but how sure are you that the interior is actually quite as shown exteriorly? a beautiful red apple can fool you but one bite may tell you whether it is sweet or not. whether it's rotten inside or not. whether it is a pure breed or not. *eh, i am not saying i'm fake ah! =P*

and there's a reason for me for not updating frequently besides my blogger being messed up. it's because i have so much anger in me right now that, if i do blog, i'll end up lashing at almost everyone who.. well, contributed to this anger in me.
i am way past that age where it's called angst ridden teen. right now, i am an angst ridden young adult. wtf. angst ridden young adult.

i wanna go goth. black hair, black liner, black shadows, black nails, black clothings. thing is, i've lost my black hair, i can't do black shadows and liner without looking as though i've been punched and black clothing is NICE.

the reason for going goth? to show them that i am EMO. wtf. i haven't been emo in awhile. and right now i am going emo.

it's time. i know this time would come. i've been far too happy these 2 years and the time for me to emo has come. god, WHY now? i effing hate decision making. and i effing hate making the wrong decision not that i truly have. okay. i HAVE. but those isn't as life altering as this is.

And i am the the doll with the painted smile right now. they don't know how "poisoned" it is inside. because she's taking everything in and letting nothing out.

on the other hand, the optimistic part?

smiling is infectious; you catch it like a flu.

i feel like smiling from the inside. when is it coming back to me?

As Fate Would Have It.

Here's the thing, I didn't get accepted into any local uni. period.

I can't believe it. i mean, it's really hard to believe that there isn't a place in any of the local unis for me, not even a place in mass communication though if i were to get it, i wouldn't go for it. I mean like wtf? i didn't get the consolation prize, at all. *rolls eyes*

And, i was f-king disappointed. I lived the last 6 months, dreaming of the day where i finally get into UM doing my law degree. No i won't settle for the 2nd best, or at least i don't want to. It was a shock really. Most of the people didn't quite expected it especially my family members. They refused to believe me until my voice cracked from holding back tears, then they finally understood. Telling my dad was the hardest, i totally teared in front of him.

I never resented those ppl. but now i sort of do. no wonder everyone wants to leave the country. the country has nothing much to offer them. nope.

i've spend almost 2 years to get into uni. one and half preparing for it. and the other half waiting for it. but owh well. basically, friday was prolly one of the worst day of my life.

and i don't want to appeal. what's the point? it's like BEGGING to get in. And i don't want to. I am desperate but i'm NOT that desperate. and UM doesn't allow ppl to appeal for its law course. wtf. so i appealed for UKM and UiTM, my dad went as far as asking for help from ppl. (-_-") i asked them to leave MCA outta it. I don't want to appear in the newspaper for this ninny stuff. i am willing to bet, i am not the only one with this stupid problem. and i will not be the first to do that this year.

i know my abilities. afterall, a true gold will never be afraid of fire (some chinese saying). that's what my dad told me a long time ago. and i say bring on the LLB and CLP!

on the brighter side, maybe fate has decided a different path for me. =) So now, while waiting for the appeal results, i'm scouting pvt universities for law course. =) and also, my parents are having my back. =) that's great to know. and of course, bennie and my sisters too. =3

this is just another chapter of my life. and it has proven, life is not easy. i'm okay now. it took one day, friday for me to sort out all my feelings. right now, i m not that worried. financial may be a problem but, let's just follow the river flow right now and see what the future has in store for me. =)

just thought you guys should know what's happening.

and no, i didn't get the f-ing premiere tickets. haha. X)

Ben's Night. =)

my girls~ goes all the way back in high school! mel and kristine.



First of all, i'd like to thank everyone who made it to Ben's Loreal Search Finale. Your presence there was very much appreciated. =) It was a stressful day for not just ben but me as well though ben would have more pressure. X) It seems like a long day but it's not. In just a blink of an eye, it was all over.

the hunks are hot and the babes are gorgeous but of course, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and so am i. LOL. i can't say i'm very satisfied with the male winner as i really think that someone else ought to win *coughs*ben*coughs* lol. if not ben it could have been Luiz, Azim, or Hsien Lung, afterall, it was a talent search!

i enjoyed myself and i hope you guys did too.

the crowd was pretty big. =) everyone has got their own supporter and as biased as i am, i think that Luiz and Ben's has more supporters than the rest. X) afterall, you can see all the banners here and there. X) I can't say much about that night except for the pics which obviously you guys had seen it in kristine's facebook but for the sake of updating my blog. i shall post up the same pics but with diff caption. LOL.



sandra and i. the one who painted the better banner. =)



one of the hunks. =)




flora and i.




all the singlings, all the singlings~ okay, 2 not so single but the rest of the hotties are, anyone interested? =P



all the sweet ones. =)




in between two hot babes. what to do? what to do? =(



gripping the roses oh so tightly just incase someone snatched it from my hand. LOL.




jin the poser! =D




BEN!



Ben doing his thing to impress the judges.




all the finalists.




Ben and Luiz.



Li Kimli the cool chic.



Danusha and Nipaun. or.. er.. nvm. her guy dancer. they entertained the crowd really well! =) they should have won the best performance. =(




Hsien Lung. the guy who got a rose from kristine! =)




Elizabeth who sang and danced for the crowd. =)




Izzah and her hot moves.




Ben's solo. =)



Azim with his creative and real energetic moves. =D




crowd pleasers! =P





Ben winning the most voted dude title. =D




Izzah the female winner. =)




Season 2 and Season 3 winners.

after the whole thing, mamak of course! we didn't have our dinner! X)


kong,mel and me~




ee mun the cutie and i, stephie. LOL.



Kristine and i.



flora, kong and steph.




Leonard, Kristine, Stephie.


The reason why i didn't update any sooner is because my blogger's having some problem. I might have to change my blog address and create a new account which is a hassle. i'll see how long i can stand it being this way. not being able to choose my font, font size and paragraph. and of course, only able to upload pic one by one seeing it's only the pic's html appears when i upload a pic. if i upload five in one go, it'll be so confusing. so i've spend a total of 2 hours updating this post. epp. owh well. =)

will update you guys soon with the uni results which i'd know by friday. wish me luck! =)

I Can't Get Enough Of Transformers

Actually, I’ve never heard of Transformers till 2 years back.


I was kinda skeptical about the movie since it involves with cars changing into robots and back then, Shia Labeouf and Megan Fox wasn’t even the IT thing. But then since Steven Spielberg is one of the producer of it, I supposed it is like this hot thing going on? Plus I so enjoyed the Jurassic Park franchise.. *okay, just the 1st 2 movies, the 3rd one was just so so*


And what made it more intriguing was my younger sister, who is this computer buff who doesn’t enjoy movies as much as I do, *ahem ahem* , watched it in the cinema for god-knows-how-many-times with her friends. Besides that, the tickets were always running out like roti boy’s buns. So, I had no choice but to purchase the ticket showing on a weekday, and it was practically sold out even at the ungodly hour of 4pm. I was so desperate that I grabbed whatever that was available. The seats weren’t even that good. =(



not the main reason for watching it in the cinema.


I was tired as it was a schooling day but the movie was so action-packed that it got me sitting up straight on my seat the whole time it was going on.



also not the main reason for watching transformers.


So why can’t I get enough of Transformers? It’s not because of Shia Lebeouf *okay, maybe he plays a tiny wee bit role in my reason*, it’s not because of Megan Fox though she’s super hot, hotter than Nicole Schzinger. It’s because of.. BUMBLEBEE!



the main reason for wanting more of transformers.


The super cute yellow robot that is so huge yet with the childish attitude! Yeah, that one is the real attention grabber. I can’t get enough of Bumblebee. It was kinda sad when he got captured by humans and Sam Witwicky was trying to protect the cute huge thing. That part sorta stirs the emotion. It’s amazing how a human and a robot can form such friendship that is better than human friendship itself. Can I stress again that Bumblebee is so so so adorable?!


Owh, besides Bumblebee, the next attention grabber is Optimus Prime, the leader of Autobots! The huge thing with really striking red and blue color is really manly. I mean, of course he’s manly, he’s the leader which leads the rest of his team to fight Megatron, which like super huge?


The next thing that I really like is the spider-like. The damn annoying thing? Well without that robot, the movie would have been a little dull. I mean every movie needs a trouble maker for the heroes and heroines. X)


And the scene which I like the best is when all the robots made a trip to Sam’s house to retrieve the glasses which is the clue to the cube. One of the robots accidently tripped and fell (I think it was Bumblebee),thus creating a rumble which was like a mini earth quake. And the next classic thing that happens is Sam’s dad hiding in a bathtub thinking it’s a real earth quake.


So please give me the tickets to the premiere? Please please please? X) I really can’t get enough of the movie and I think Revenge of the Fallen is gonna be huge and more action packed than the first one.


The trailer itself looks really interesting, I can’t imagine how the movie would be like. Perhaps, it’s gonna be a bomb in the box office. ;)

Let's party this meaningless party and play that meaningless chess game.

yesterday i was blog hopping, then i came across lyndy's blog. her latest post is about life and how it's like through her own eyes.

and you know what? i so agree with her. after reading it, i thought of something like hers.

to me, life's like a masquerade party. you go to that grand party and you'll see lots of people. guys in tux of different colour and shades, girls in dresses that is either so glamorous or trashy. it's like a first impression thing, you see people of all shapes and sizes just like how you see people in tux and dresses.

and then you start introducing yourself to these people in their masks. their masks are either scary, beautiful, outrageous or unique. and.. you start to wonder, what's really behind that mask? how does that person look like without it? does the face behind it suit the mask he/she is wearing? and by that, i am meaning the personality. the same person in the mask you've met would wear another mask to another party. so you see, in different situation, people wears a different mask.

and why we're all so complicated? to survive. to survive, we need that mask to fit in. to survive, we need to dance to the music being played. to survive, we need to play that boring chess game.

yes, life's also like a chess game whether you like it or not.

at times you're the master of the game and at times you'll stump so low that you're just a mere pawn.

and so, right now, you're playing your game well. i can see it. i'm pretty sure you know i know. continue to play your game well dear, i believe you've yet to meet the real master. she may be a pawn right now? but who knows what's the outcome? you could be the queen and she the pawn but who knows it's the other way round?

or maybe, she's the master in her game, and you are yours. and you guys are just mere pawns in each other's game.

hmm, i'll be watching. oh sure you're winning right now. right now. but we'll see. =)