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Goodbye Memories.

2010-08-20T22:16:00.003+08:00

I am saying bye bye to this blog and i have moved to another one. still with blogspot. but another address. text me to find out the new address. :)

and i wanna say, Thank you to those who faithfully follows my blog though it withered and died. haha. :)

take care people, and see you when i see you. :)

Goodbye memories.

Back? Not quite.

2010-05-23T16:55:00.003+08:00

Yes, it has been a long while since i last updated my blog. For some reasons, the need to write feels less and less. The need to express myself just went away. It really made me wonder up till now to why i just abandoned writing. I used to love expressing myself, playing with words and stuff but somehow, that part of me left. It just went away like gone with the wind or something. haha.

So, what have i been up to? Oh, i have been in this turmoil of searching for myself when there were days where it sucks really bad. I was hating myself, hating some people around me. I was trying to shut out the world, to just live my life one day at a time. I was searching for the real me and I still am. There were days where tears were my only companion. There were days that I convinced myself that it will only make me stronger. And i grew more and more dependent on him. Week after week, there is nothing that i look forward to but him. And then, he has to be taken away from me for the next two years due to studies.

It has never strike me that THAT would be the reason. I was toyed with that idea for awhile but the idea just seem so impossible. And then there are people whom I considered great confidante turns out to be not what i thought but i discovered friends who can be. And that i suppose is a win-win situation? There were days where people just don't get how i feel. There were days where they just get frustrated. That is when i was left thinking, if you can't deal with me then just leave me alone.

The emo days were there but there were also some days where i feel utterly happy like i wasn't carrying that heavy, hatred, whatever you call it, burden. Then there was the trip last year that made things a bit better and this round's is just as good.

Now the only thing i am contemplating is, to continue writing or just leave it. Afterall, my first paragraph already mentioned that the need to express myself is just no longer here. I suppose closing down is a good thing eh? :) and then totally immerse myself in my old world, reading and gaining more vocabulary. And maybe sometime later, the need to play around with words would come back to me. :)

what says you? just don't tell me i need to go tanjung rambutan. (-_-")

Woots!

2009-09-18T19:14:00.008+08:00

i just want to be there.

The long awaited break has finally arrived! Yeap, it's not like i'm celebrating Raya but you know what? i really need the week long break and would most probably cry after when it's over. Zzz.

On a happier note, i've finally did something to my unruly rebellious hair! spot the new look!

ignore my wrinkled Winnie the Pooh shirt.

That look reminds me of form 4- lower 6 period. LOL. seriously, i look so young now! okay, maybe just a tad bit younger but still younger! haha. I miss my curls but with dyed hair, curls only makes the hair drier. Now, it's straight sleek and shiny. me like! thinking of colouring my hair back to black, then i'd look even younger!

This week has been okay. a little on the down side. Why? the amount of work, the lack commitment and cooperation, puasa no puasa, i feel like blowing up at the world. i am like a volcano waiting to erupt.

damn cute! me <3>

I don't like group work. Never like them. Actually i don't mind if we get to choose our group mates, i really don't mind that. that's cause you wont resent the world even if your groupmate doesn't do squat. But if the group's assigned by some other people, it's a disaster. We don't understand each other, some doesn't do shit, some do all the shit. Some wanna do shit but because the rest isn't acting like they give a shit, worries like shit!

and unfortunately, i fall into the "wanna do shit but because the rest isn't acting like they give a shit, worries like shit" category thank you. of course i'd be fair. I realized only two other group mate DID something where else the rest, i am sorry to say, sometimes i wonder what are you guys doing here at all. I won't say which group, i won't say who. You know who you are. And after Raya, buckle up! *grrrrr!*

Anyways, for the week, i've plan to revise! yeap! stephie wishes to do that and hopefully stephie fulfills it! ohhhhh, ohhh! i wanna watch Gamer, A perfect Getaway, G force and and.. hmm.. other slasher flick! The few weeks after raya, it'd be like shit again. actually, even worse. owh well, no pain no gain right?

because i can be as free as i want to be.

and i'll be as free as the butterfly after finals. then australia, here i come! =) oh yeash, it's confirmed. I'm going to australia from 14th nov to 8th dec! can't wait! X)

To Those Who Feel Like Giving Up.

2009-09-11T20:40:00.002+08:00

I miss my form 6 life. I miss my classmates. I miss practically everything about it. And right now, right now, i feel alright. The past few weeks had been difficult. I kept on thinking about giving up. And well, i know there're people out there who feels the same way or something like that.

I guess i'd take this opportunity to dedicate a song for you guys.

Title: My Wish
Artist: Rascal Flatts

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

I am Back!

2009-09-04T14:08:00.004+08:00

back then.

Hey people!

i know. i know. i've been away for far too long and you guys no longer wanna visit my blog anymore huh? =)

it has been such a long hiatus.

I am sorry for not fulfilling my promise of updating my blog. truly sorry! well, the reason why i haven't been doing so is because i've been so caught up with my uni life. let's just say, it sucks a huge time and i have been having doubts on whether i should continue with my course. well, ben managed to convinced me and so has ming yuen. thank you ming yuen for being there and for noticing the changes in me and manage to somehow, talk me out of those doubts and stuff. you're one of the best besides ben. =P

well, a lot has happened. trust me. especially the new addition in my family.

people, meet Baby Joey Gan Xing Qi!

just born!

and i'm gonna grow up and be a heart breaker.

baby joey is so adorable. she's gonna grow up beautifully, i really do believe that.

and you know what?

everyone loves her. =) even my cousins.hahaha.

i quote from Ryan.

"she's so cute! she look like a baby alien!"

like, wtf? which part? but i suppose that's how Ryan defines cute. hahaha.

alright, i'll update soon again. this time i promise and i will do it. =)

I need time.

2009-07-26T10:31:00.002+08:00

After a long holiday, it's kinda hard to get back with life especially one that is so busy.

i promised to blog soon but it looks like time is so not on my side. X)

I also thought that being a law student could be as free as kristine. i was dead wrong. I have classes everyday except for friday and sunday. Monday from 8am till 4pm. Tuesday 8am till 4pm. wednesday 8am till 8pm. thursday 8am till 3pm and saturday 9am till 12pm. with an hour break at some time or straight four hours together. packed right? and the stupid dorm community has a meeting almost everynite at 930 or 1030. then each student's required to join at least one society or association. (-_-"). guess what? i joined buddhist association. LOL. simply because the club doesn't require its members to be very active and get good marks.

Then there's this thing called FACT NIGHT. it's like prom only a smaller scale involving only students from their own faculty. aish. it's this coming saturday and newbies, namely, the first years are supposed to run the whole thing and do performance as well. guess what? a stick like person like me joined dancing instead of drama. wtf. why didnt i joined drama? *wails* meaning, this whole week, any free time will be used to practice dance moves. my god. i wanna chicken out.

on top of that, assignments and tutorial classes are starting this very week as well. *how to juggle everything la, wtf.*

and now i m emo. ben's sick. been taking care of him since yesterday. a lot of our plans are cancelled. *sigh*.

i haven't watch harry potter. and i am very emo about it.

i am very emo that my dad bought me nasi lemak this morning. why? coz i've to survive on malay food for the whole week and i come home expecting something like chu cheong fun for breakfast and i got nasi lemak instead.

i also, didn't have enough sleep. that pisses me off as well.

GRRRRRR.

Home

2009-07-20T11:23:00.002+08:00

No place feels as good as that. Not even the most expensive hotel suite..*pause* okay, maybe the most expensive hotel suite might you know, alter the fact that it feels better than home but there's NO place like home.

well, i've had my taste of living away from home in a DORM. the horror. i know. where you shower in a shared toilet with a few cubicles with no hot water. where you can only get food at the cafeteria. where sometimes you have to survive on bread, buns, biscuit or cup noodles. it's not fun. where you have to travel in shuttle buses and missed it when you're 5 minutes late to the bus stop.

so the thing is, i'm in UKM now. The place is alright. but don't expect to see many chinese or indians. my room is..half of my room size at home.. and i have to share it with another girl named Kai Lee. She's also taking law course which makes it better. thank god we're both from nearby or else i would feel bad leaving her alone whenever i go home on the weekend. my schedule now still look okay but it's gonna be super packed by the fourth week. *sigh* it makes me wonder if i had made the wrong decision but on the more positive note, all the activities here are to mould us into lawyers so that it'll be easier for us when we graduate. you know what? i can't wait for that day to come and i'm not even 2 weeks here.

why did i say there's no place like home?

home, you have your parents and you sibling/s. your meals are provided. you have the tv and computer to yourself. hell you even have your own bathroom in your room. home, also a place where alll your close friends dwell in 5km radius. at home, you can even have snacks. biscuits, sweets, cold drinks and etc. you even have your very own comfortable bed with comforter and 2 or 3 fluffy pillows not to mention your soft toys. i m thinking of my bennie bunnie and mmer mmer. XD

here.. you can't have all those.

*sigh* i m getting more homesick as i talk abt it. i better shush it or else. *shudders*

it's weird you know. i hate going to camps. i basically hate leaving home and now i am not home. and i do feel homesick but.. not THAT bad. most probably i am taking in the comfort of knowing home is just 20km away and that my parents will come an hour after one phone call of asking them to come pick me up. and also, the comfort of knowing that i'm not alone in this, that other people are facing it too. that this is the beginning of my life as an adult, too.

i hate growing up.it means spreading your wings and leaving the nest. i am slowly doing that. and it's gonna be a long process, as i see it.

kristine, now i know why you were crying on your 20th birthday. it does suck when the realization hits me. and it's sorta hitting me now. =(

i guess that's all for now. will update as soon as i can. =) most probably it will be soon. =)

till then, take care people.=)

Just Dance

2009-07-12T14:40:00.004+08:00

People~

I've an announcement to make. I've finally got my appeal result and yes, i've got it.

I've UKM's Law. Obviously i didn't want UKM but the course is what i want. *sigh* and i didn't want to go for it but i guess i've no other choice. i argued with my parents, cried the whole night and day but to NO avail. so, i really have no other choice. owh well.

I'm not sure if i've to stay on campus or am i allowed to travel everyday. so we'll see how things work out tomorrow. everything happened so fast, things just came like that and honestly, i am quite shocked. my holiday has finally ended. =(

ps: the world is quiet and it doesn't hear you - Ben

Heroes.

2009-07-09T11:31:00.003+08:00

Mohinder Suresh (as the narrator): The world isn't small but you are and fate will find you eventually.

Well, i'm okay now. the past 2 posts were very angst ridden. haha. i know. and it bores the shit out of people to have me repeating the same thing.

well, i haven't really sort out my life yet but wth right? i'll just go with the flow. my parents finally backed me. and i'll tell you, i'm very surprised by it.

on the other note, i'll have another 2 more months to bum around before the real thing starts. So what have i been doing? i've been a couch potato, watching series. HEROES from season 1 till season 3 had been real educating. LOL. seriously, i love the narration and sometimes the dialouge itself. And Peter Petrelli said something that i will, most probably live-by AGAIN. what do i mean by AGAIN? I was like what he said once but it didn't get me anywhere and then i changed, and it didn't get me anywhere as well. so i think, i'll just settled back to who i was. changes, might be good but sometimes, it isn't.

and that doesn't mean i will see things as naively as i was before.

CHUCK season 1 and 2 is really awesome. it's a nerds/geeks show. only nerds/geeks will understand it. scratch that. it is actually really nice and it's NOT at all geeky or nerdy. nerds/geeks and secret agents, nice! =) not to mention, it's really really funny.

now i'm on GOSSIP GIRL season 2.

okay, as you guys know, the gov has finally decided to scratch english for science and maths and reverting back to BM.

i THINK, it's a very very stupid move. make that idiotic. they have only tried english for like what 7 years? and they expect the students english at par with western countries? it's stupid. if these 7 years hasn't shown any improvement, it's like an alarm being sound. it shows how bad our english are. and they want things to go back to BM.

it doesn't matter if they added more time for english lesson. english is another language that needs practising whether it's writen or spoken. and their reason for terminating english is because the they ASSUMED rural students can't handle it. if they can't handle school level english, how are they gonna handle the world later? contracts, documents, reports, they are all written in english that is so formal, sometimes, i don't even know what is it and i totally give up on reading them.

thing is, they are protecting these people so much that they didn't realize they are destroying them and the generation after.

it's like the saying, give a person a fish for a meal and that person will ask for a fish for the rest of his life.

teach a person to fish for his meal, and he'll be able to fish for himself for the rest of his life.

the way things are, people will get too reliant on the gov. it's time to step out of the comfort zone. things may not be improving now but what about years later? 7 years for english is a very short time. if that 7 years were the age of human years, it means our english is still like a child. still growing. still have rooms for improvement. and they have decided to not continue it. what a waste of time and effort. they have just killed a child, metaphorically speaking.

on an ending note, you can't get a tree tomorrow if you've just planted the seed today.

Blah Blah Blah.. Blah Blah Blahhh!

2009-06-29T11:52:00.002+08:00

Here i am.

Always searching for quote. Looking for something meaningful that can be applied to me or others. I've found a few but it's forgotten minutes i've heard it. I am so not a quote person.

I am currently very lost. It's definitely not depression. Just an early 20's crisis. I've been avoiding too many questions that needed answers and right now i'm being confronted by one that determines my future whether i want it or not.

Right now, i feel like a doll *at least it sounds nicer than a puppet!*. A doll always smiles at you because that smile is painted on it. You don't see a doll that frowns in anger, confusion, concentration or sadness. no. you will not see it because it's not there. a smile painted on my face but deep inside, i'm lost in confusion and anger and everything altogether.

it's funny how things can be so superficial. On the exterior, things are so beautiful but how sure are you that the interior is actually quite as shown exteriorly? a beautiful red apple can fool you but one bite may tell you whether it is sweet or not. whether it's rotten inside or not. whether it is a pure breed or not. *eh, i am not saying i'm fake ah! =P*

and there's a reason for me for not updating frequently besides my blogger being messed up. it's because i have so much anger in me right now that, if i do blog, i'll end up lashing at almost everyone who.. well, contributed to this anger in me.
i am way past that age where it's called angst ridden teen. right now, i am an angst ridden young adult. wtf. angst ridden young adult.

i wanna go goth. black hair, black liner, black shadows, black nails, black clothings. thing is, i've lost my black hair, i can't do black shadows and liner without looking as though i've been punched and black clothing is NICE.

the reason for going goth? to show them that i am EMO. wtf. i haven't been emo in awhile. and right now i am going emo.

it's time. i know this time would come. i've been far too happy these 2 years and the time for me to emo has come. god, WHY now? i effing hate decision making. and i effing hate making the wrong decision not that i truly have. okay. i HAVE. but those isn't as life altering as this is.

And i am the the doll with the painted smile right now. they don't know how "poisoned" it is inside. because she's taking everything in and letting nothing out.

on the other hand, the optimistic part?

smiling is infectious; you catch it like a flu.

i feel like smiling from the inside. when is it coming back to me?

As Fate Would Have It.

2009-06-21T20:03:00.002+08:00

Here's the thing, I didn't get accepted into any local uni. period.

I can't believe it. i mean, it's really hard to believe that there isn't a place in any of the local unis for me, not even a place in mass communication though if i were to get it, i wouldn't go for it. I mean like wtf? i didn't get the consolation prize, at all. *rolls eyes*

And, i was f-king disappointed. I lived the last 6 months, dreaming of the day where i finally get into UM doing my law degree. No i won't settle for the 2nd best, or at least i don't want to. It was a shock really. Most of the people didn't quite expected it especially my family members. They refused to believe me until my voice cracked from holding back tears, then they finally understood. Telling my dad was the hardest, i totally teared in front of him.

I never resented those ppl. but now i sort of do. no wonder everyone wants to leave the country. the country has nothing much to offer them. nope.

i've spend almost 2 years to get into uni. one and half preparing for it. and the other half waiting for it. but owh well. basically, friday was prolly one of the worst day of my life.

and i don't want to appeal. what's the point? it's like BEGGING to get in. And i don't want to. I am desperate but i'm NOT that desperate. and UM doesn't allow ppl to appeal for its law course. wtf. so i appealed for UKM and UiTM, my dad went as far as asking for help from ppl. (-_-") i asked them to leave MCA outta it. I don't want to appear in the newspaper for this ninny stuff. i am willing to bet, i am not the only one with this stupid problem. and i will not be the first to do that this year.

i know my abilities. afterall, a true gold will never be afraid of fire (some chinese saying). that's what my dad told me a long time ago. and i say bring on the LLB and CLP!

on the brighter side, maybe fate has decided a different path for me. =) So now, while waiting for the appeal results, i'm scouting pvt universities for law course. =) and also, my parents are having my back. =) that's great to know. and of course, bennie and my sisters too. =3

this is just another chapter of my life. and it has proven, life is not easy. i'm okay now. it took one day, friday for me to sort out all my feelings. right now, i m not that worried. financial may be a problem but, let's just follow the river flow right now and see what the future has in store for me. =)

just thought you guys should know what's happening.

and no, i didn't get the f-ing premiere tickets. haha. X)

Ben's Night. =)

2009-06-17T12:07:00.029+08:00

my girls~ goes all the way back in high school! mel and kristine.

First of all, i'd like to thank everyone who made it to Ben's Loreal Search Finale. Your presence there was very much appreciated. =) It was a stressful day for not just ben but me as well though ben would have more pressure. X) It seems like a long day but it's not. In just a blink of an eye, it was all over.

the hunks are hot and the babes are gorgeous but of course, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and so am i. LOL. i can't say i'm very satisfied with the male winner as i really think that someone else ought to win *coughs*ben*coughs* lol. if not ben it could have been Luiz, Azim, or Hsien Lung, afterall, it was a talent search!

i enjoyed myself and i hope you guys did too.

the crowd was pretty big. =) everyone has got their own supporter and as biased as i am, i think that Luiz and Ben's has more supporters than the rest. X) afterall, you can see all the banners here and there. X) I can't say much about that night except for the pics which obviously you guys had seen it in kristine's facebook but for the sake of updating my blog. i shall post up the same pics but with diff caption. LOL.

sandra and i. the one who painted the better banner. =)

one of the hunks. =)

flora and i.

all the singlings, all the singlings~ okay, 2 not so single but the rest of the hotties are, anyone interested? =P

all the sweet ones. =)

in between two hot babes. what to do? what to do? =(

gripping the roses oh so tightly just incase someone snatched it from my hand. LOL.

jin the poser! =D

BEN!

Ben doing his thing to impress the judges.

all the finalists.

Ben and Luiz.

Li Kimli the cool chic.

Danusha and Nipaun. or.. er.. nvm. her guy dancer. they entertained the crowd really well! =) they should have won the best performance. =(

Hsien Lung. the guy who got a rose from kristine! =)

Elizabeth who sang and danced for the crowd. =)

Izzah and her hot moves.

Ben's solo. =)

Azim with his creative and real energetic moves. =D

crowd pleasers! =P

Ben winning the most voted dude title. =D

Izzah the female winner. =)

Season 2 and Season 3 winners.

after the whole thing, mamak of course! we didn't have our dinner! X)

kong,mel and me~

ee mun the cutie and i, stephie. LOL.

Kristine and i.

flora, kong and steph.

Leonard, Kristine, Stephie.

The reason why i didn't update any sooner is because my blogger's having some problem. I might have to change my blog address and create a new account which is a hassle. i'll see how long i can stand it being this way. not being able to choose my font, font size and paragraph. and of course, only able to upload pic one by one seeing it's only the pic's html appears when i upload a pic. if i upload five in one go, it'll be so confusing. so i've spend a total of 2 hours updating this post. epp. owh well. =)

will update you guys soon with the uni results which i'd know by friday. wish me luck! =)

I Can't Get Enough Of Transformers

2009-06-09T11:57:00.007+08:00

Actually, I’ve never heard of Transformers till 2 years back.

I was kinda skeptical about the movie since it involves with cars changing into robots and back then, Shia Labeouf and Megan Fox wasn’t even the IT thing. But then since Steven Spielberg is one of the producer of it, I supposed it is like this hot thing going on? Plus I so enjoyed the Jurassic Park franchise.. *okay, just the 1st 2 movies, the 3rd one was just so so*

And what made it more intriguing was my younger sister, who is this computer buff who doesn’t enjoy movies as much as I do, *ahem ahem* , watched it in the cinema for god-knows-how-many-times with her friends. Besides that, the tickets were always running out like roti boy’s buns. So, I had no choice but to purchase the ticket showing on a weekday, and it was practically sold out even at the ungodly hour of 4pm. I was so desperate that I grabbed whatever that was available. The seats weren’t even that good. =(

not the main reason for watching it in the cinema.

I was tired as it was a schooling day but the movie was so action-packed that it got me sitting up straight on my seat the whole time it was going on.

also not the main reason for watching transformers.

So why can’t I get enough of Transformers? It’s not because of Shia Lebeouf *okay, maybe he plays a tiny wee bit role in my reason*, it’s not because of Megan Fox though she’s super hot, hotter than Nicole Schzinger. It’s because of.. BUMBLEBEE!

the main reason for wanting more of transformers.

The super cute yellow robot that is so huge yet with the childish attitude! Yeah, that one is the real attention grabber. I can’t get enough of Bumblebee. It was kinda sad when he got captured by humans and Sam Witwicky was trying to protect the cute huge thing. That part sorta stirs the emotion. It’s amazing how a human and a robot can form such friendship that is better than human friendship itself. Can I stress again that Bumblebee is so so so adorable?!

Owh, besides Bumblebee, the next attention grabber is Optimus Prime, the leader of Autobots! The huge thing with really striking red and blue color is really manly. I mean, of course he’s manly, he’s the leader which leads the rest of his team to fight Megatron, which like super huge?

The next thing that I really like is the spider-like. The damn annoying thing? Well without that robot, the movie would have been a little dull. I mean every movie needs a trouble maker for the heroes and heroines. X)

And the scene which I like the best is when all the robots made a trip to Sam’s house to retrieve the glasses which is the clue to the cube. One of the robots accidently tripped and fell (I think it was Bumblebee),thus creating a rumble which was like a mini earth quake. And the next classic thing that happens is Sam’s dad hiding in a bathtub thinking it’s a real earth quake.

So please give me the tickets to the premiere? Please please please? X) I really can’t get enough of the movie and I think Revenge of the Fallen is gonna be huge and more action packed than the first one.

The trailer itself looks really interesting, I can’t imagine how the movie would be like. Perhaps, it’s gonna be a bomb in the box office. ;)

Let's party this meaningless party and play that meaningless chess game.

2009-06-07T12:32:00.001+08:00

yesterday i was blog hopping, then i came across lyndy's blog. her latest post is about life and how it's like through her own eyes.

and you know what? i so agree with her. after reading it, i thought of something like hers.

to me, life's like a masquerade party. you go to that grand party and you'll see lots of people. guys in tux of different colour and shades, girls in dresses that is either so glamorous or trashy. it's like a first impression thing, you see people of all shapes and sizes just like how you see people in tux and dresses.

and then you start introducing yourself to these people in their masks. their masks are either scary, beautiful, outrageous or unique. and.. you start to wonder, what's really behind that mask? how does that person look like without it? does the face behind it suit the mask he/she is wearing? and by that, i am meaning the personality. the same person in the mask you've met would wear another mask to another party. so you see, in different situation, people wears a different mask.

and why we're all so complicated? to survive. to survive, we need that mask to fit in. to survive, we need to dance to the music being played. to survive, we need to play that boring chess game.

yes, life's also like a chess game whether you like it or not.

at times you're the master of the game and at times you'll stump so low that you're just a mere pawn.

and so, right now, you're playing your game well. i can see it. i'm pretty sure you know i know. continue to play your game well dear, i believe you've yet to meet the real master. she may be a pawn right now? but who knows what's the outcome? you could be the queen and she the pawn but who knows it's the other way round?

or maybe, she's the master in her game, and you are yours. and you guys are just mere pawns in each other's game.

hmm, i'll be watching. oh sure you're winning right now. right now. but we'll see. =)

Couple Meme! got it from Timothy Tiah's blog

2009-06-01T12:54:00.004+08:00

Okay people. Before you proceed on reading, can you please click on the adverts? please? please please please? pretty please? =3 Owh, and btw, i am updating my blog with two posts today so scroll down for more yeah? =) though it is pretty much all about ben and i. you guys are gonna be sick. mwahahaha. XD So it's time for couple meme~ =) yeash, today's our 2nd anniversary, and more to come i hope. =3 Here it goes~
*~ Tell us about the first time you met and your first impression of him/her:

Well, we met through friendster before meeting up on 1st of june 2007. =) we were playing "hide and seek" in MPH which i stupidly walk into him. and i was thinking, "wow, he looks better in person!" and he has got the most friendliest smile. *cheh wah!* X)

*~ What's a weird habit or quirk that he has?

his weird habit? *thinks* not that i can think of. maybe his love for cleaning. teehee~

*~ What makes him sad?

whenever we argue. =( it makes me sad too! and whenever i do things that disappoints him. =(

*~ What makes him angry?

urhm. stupid drivers. little things that makes him frustrated.

*~ What excites him?

eh? computer games! especially rayman! he can do a really good imitation of it!

~* Tell us something funny about him?

owh, just the other day he wanted to let this big one *ps:fart.* and he was telling me he needed to do that and it's gonna have a sound. so i was like okay, just do it outside my room. and then we were talking, suddenly he stood up and walked out of my room and i followed him, giggling. he just stood outside and ask me to go back in and i said, just fart lar. *i always laugh at my family members whenever it's a loud one* and well, he was so shy, it didn't came. teehee~ he thinks it's still too early to fart around each other. XD given that, i'd have been shy too. =P

~* What's he like at home?

he's a good son. always helping out his parents doing stuff. =) he's quite himself. =)

~* What's he like at work/school?

he's VERY serious when it comes to serious stuff. he doesn't fool around and apparently, he's sort of like a tyrant in his old school. but he's really a sweetheart. =)

*~ Describe his room

his room in klang is really neat and clean. he has got a lot of pillows on his bed. his room in subang is.. clean but messy. i think i influenced him a great deal. his room in subang i mean. =P

*~ What's his best friend like?

owh, tom is a really nice person. =) kinda blur at times but easy to communicate with. ben always bully tom. =/

*~ Do you know who he hates the most?

hmmm, not really. he dislikes quite a few ppl. but i dont think it is really bad till i should make note of it.

*~Have you met his exes?

haha. no. they aren't friends no more.

*~ Do his parents like you?

urhm, that you have to ask him. =(

*~ What's the first thing he would do or say if he fell down and scraped his knee?

F*CK! but it's not like he'll make a big deal outta it.

~* What would he do in an emergency situation with other people involved?

he would be the one taking control and stuff. he's not those bystander that watch the whole thing. he'll be the one telling people what to do and all. =)

*~ Which shop would he spend most of the time at in a shopping mall?

urhm, there isnt a shop in particular which he would waste his time on. but he usually spends a lot of time looking at kitchenware if we so happen to pass by. =/

*~ What would he have for a typical breakfast?

eggs? milk if possible or milo. not too sure. coz usually if he's here, we'd either go McD or mamak.

*~ Where would he want to go for dinner?

if we're in klang, it would be D'Tavern in Port Klang, if we're out, it depends. =) he's not a picky eater like yours truly. =D

*~ What kind of movie would he choose at the cinema?

action packed! X) war movies, sci-fi, comedy! anything BUT horror. teehee~

*~ Describe his taste in music?

he's pretty random like me. we can go anything from oldies to modern hits. =)

*~ If he wasn't going out with you, who would he be going out with?

some hot chick. LOL. well, he'd be going out with someone from his coll. i've asked him that question before. but since he's with me, i say it's not so nice to mention who's that girl. *winks*

*~ What item in his wardrobe would you like to burn?

nothing. =) he has a pretty normal dressing sense. =3

*~ What is he good at?

talking! LOL. he's good at cheering ppl up. =) and he's practically good at everything. there isn't a thing that he can't do.

*~ What is he totally horrible at?

controlling his mood swings. =(

*~ What's something about him that is annoying/infuriating?

urh, his mood swings only. and sometimes talking about sensitive stuffs. he's just being too honest. =/

*~ What's something that you two fundamentally disagree on?

a lot of ninny stuff ler. but it's not that bad. hahaha.

*~What's something that you two agree whole-heartedly on?

that person is a **********? =P

*~ Is he possessive?

owh yeah, he is but just enough. =D and i don't mind. i like that a lot. =D

*~ Why would he succeed in life?

he's both street-wise and book-wise. =) an all rounder that can practically do everything that he put his mind on.

*~ What is the coolest gift that he has ever given you?

it would be everything. =) and of course, the most fragile thing ever, his heart. <3

*~ What does he avoid at all costs?

hahaha! those beautiful things that flutters all over the place. *winks*

*~What does he spend the most money on?

me. hahaha. just kidding! he spends his money randomly and usually it is to make people happy. =)

*~ Describe his typical Sunday.

if he's with me, we woud have breakfast and then he'll proceed on bringing me out for movie or shopping. if he's back in klang, he would be doing chores and studying, completing his assignments. =3

*~ Why would he be dangerous?

he.. he.. = = he fights well and he bashes up people. there's this thief that wanted to rob him ended up being beaten by him badly. according to ben, he might have broken that thief's nose.

*~Tell us about a time he looked absolutely gorgeous

urhm. whenever he's all dressed up, he looks really good. =) especially yesterday. i've never seen him wearing pink. he think pink's for gays. i say real man knows how to flaunt pink! =D

*~ What's something about him that would surprise all of his friends?

he's a real softie at heart. i've seen it. XD and and.. he loves ****** too! and gives him kisses as well! XD

*~ What do you love most about him?

well, i love him for him. =) but what i love about him the most is his giving nature. he's always there to help and he's really generous. *ok, sometimes he's quite kiamsiap aso but let's not talk abt that* and his way of going all out to make ppl happy. his grandma loves him lots. she told me that ben's like his dad. a great guy with a big heart. Awwwww. =)

*~ The biggest lesson you have learnt from loving your soulmate.

he taught me a lot of things but most of all, i am learning to be as thoughtful as him. =) his giving nature is so beautiful that i'd really like to be like him but then, of course, to a certain degree where i won't lose my own personality or turn out to be a photocopy of him. and i've learnt to be more confident with myself. i feel really secured when i'm with him. there is not a moment where jealousy is at play. =)

Happy Birthday Bunnie! =3

2009-05-31T22:31:00.010+08:00

today is my baby bunnie's birthday! X3

okay, that is so childish but i dont care! i m announcing to the world that i love my baby bunnie. why? because it's a gift from bennie for our 1st anniversary. yeash. =) our anniversary is tomorrow but we celebrated today because tomorrow's a monday and he has got classes so, it has to be brought forward. =)

so he came over on the saturday night with a.. huge bouquet of roses! =)

roses with the world's sleepiest looking girl.

it started at 12am when he gave me that card with our picture on it. *giggles* you don't wanna know what's inside and me giving him an envelopes of coupons. coupons that doesn't come easily. *winks* and that was my gift to him. =) then he proceeded to saying how sorry he is for not getting me any anniversary gift. truth to be told, i wasn't at all disappointed. the card itself was sweet enuf. and we went to bed. hahaha. i was freaking sleepy okay. the picture alone has said enough of it!

Usually i get more than 8 hours of sleep. But ben woke up early like around 8am? he went out of the room and tried to get into sandra's room. *her room was locked*, so he meddled with the lock for awhile until sandra got irritated and opened the door for ben. *i found out that part later* then he came into my room and closed the door. i tossed, irritated. *i'm a light sleeper, the slightest sound could jolt me awake*. then he climb onto my bed and hugged me. basically, he wants me to wake up. he asked me to sit up and he promised i wouldn't regret it in one bit. so i sat up. and he plop this silver box on my lap.

*shocked*

i was shocked. seriously. i didn't expect this. then i looked at him blurly and vaguely pick up the box.

i slowly open it as i was still half blur from sleep.

and i was fully awake. it was gleaming nicely. at that moment, i felt like i was being proposed and i was near tears. then i looked at him, is it real? *because he has already given me one, and he, himself one. and.. well, whether it is real or not, it is for you to find out and for us to know. LOL. =D

and yeash, i was fully awake. =D then we went for breakfast. MAMAK! =D i was thinking of McD's pancakes but it's so fattening. how come tasty food are always so fattening?!

Went back home, lepak for awhile ; reading newspapers and ben practising his singing. =) then we got ready to sunway pyramid. ben bought tickets for terminator salvation on last friday. so basically we had secured really good seats. =) have i mentioned, we camwhored quite a lot at home? =D

classic pose. LOL.

picture one. =D

yeash people. mirror in the living room. teehee~

puppy eyes!

initially we planned to have dinner in pyramid at TGIF's but then suddenly ben mentioned about having korean buffet, Seoul Garden. and we made a hasty decision but agreeing to go korean buffet and this time, we're bringing along sandra with us! =) and then we decided to check out the Seoul Garden at Pantai Plaza because it looks bigger than the one in ONE U. So Seoul Garden at Pantai Plaza it is.

Okay, backtrack! So we went to pyramid for our movie. the place was packed! finding parking was hard. we almost considered jokey parking before ben found a spot at the hotel parking. like seriously. it was almost full house! then only we found out why, it's because there was two events going on there. One is the dutch lady milk van thing with all the radio crews there and another is the movie carnival not to mentioned the daily sales going on.

ben and i went for a mini shopping trip since we had another 45 minutes before movie. we walked around rather aimlessly as he has nothing to buy and so do i. X)

Terminator Salvation is so cool! X) it's totally up to my expectation. i wasn't disappointed and so was ben. i shall not be a spoiler but.. christian bale is so hot! though i'd preffer him clean shaven.
and the half man-half machine actor is pretty good looking too! XD and and Anton Yelchin is so frigging cute! i already noticed him in star trek! =P and the little kid.. stupid credits for moving so fast, you can barely see the names except for christian bale's as john connor, duh.

owh well, directly after the movie we went home to pick sandra up before heading to pantai plaza for dinner. and it was.. bad. the place isn't run by chinese no more. =( and it looks very dingy. sandra said the interior lights look like those pasar malam one. you know light bulbs hanging down a string or something like that? =/ the food was good but.. the utensils aren't that clean. even the cup smells weird.

well, dinner was okay. =) chit chat and stuff sides the dingy place la. aih. but at least now we know that ONE U's Seoul Garden is far better than the Plaza Pantai one. =)

because i can. LOL.

so overall, it is a pretty good day. =) simple and normal. nothing to complicated. =) and i like it really. =3 besides dinner. Teehee~

hey bunnie, it's your birthday! we're gonna party like it's your birthday~

When the tagging game makes a come back.

2009-05-27T14:56:00.007+08:00

because you're all worth it. =)

I remember i used to do tags to update my blog when i find no reason/topic or anything to update. Right now my life succumbs back into blandness. Hahaha. And since Raymond Tan tagged me, i think, i'll do it. =) Besides, i really have nothing to do!

1. Besides your lips , where is the favourite spot to get kissed?

- forehead! =) or cheeks.

2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning ?

- woozy. dizzy. and gan jiong coz it's already 11am. hahaha.

3. Who was the last person / people you took a photo with ?

-urhm. ben, kristine, flora, and seng kit.

4. Would you consider yourself spoiled?

- In a way, i think i am but not the over the top kind though i wish i was. hahaha.

5. Will you ever donate blood ?

- I suppose i would once i conquer the fear of needle. i heard it's really big!

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex ?

- urhm, not BEST friend, more like close frens that sometimes makes me happy or pisses me off a huge time.

7. Do you want someone to be dead ?

- *thinks* when that person pisses me off badly. hahaha. but no. i don't wish them dead, otherwise there aren't anyone to piss me off. =D

8. What does your last text message say ?

- ok dear!! Will post to u by tomorrow!! take care ya dear!! *it's not from ben, it was from a girl*

9. What are you thinking right now ?

- what time should i do my excercise. and i hate it when dad leaves his phone at home! gawd.

1o. Do you want someone to be with you right now ?

- hmm. ben? lol. but it's okay. i am good at entertaining myself. =D

11. What was the time you went to bed last night ?

- 2am after an hour of pampering myself in the middle of the night. =P

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now ?

- mom bought it from pasar. X)

13. Is someone on your mind right now ?

- dad. his phone wouldn't stop ringing and his customers are asking hard to answer questions.

14. Who was the last person who text you ?

- Julia.

10 person to tag regardless them doing it or not:

1. Benjamin (i know you won't do. i've tagged you god-knows how many times but you've only done one or two)

2. Kristine (you've NVR done any of my tags)

3. Melody (at least you do my tags. =) *sayangs*)

4. Darren (another person who never bagi chance!)

5. Urh, hmm. Sandra? (do it in facebook NOTES)

6. Errrrrrr.. Lyndy (just for the fun of it)

7. CMY. (i know you wont do. =))

8. Andrew Koh ( i have a feeling you don't have time for this.)

9. Steven Fok (who sometimes appears on my blog)

10. *thinks* urhm, Amirul who does not visit my blog.

15. Who is no.2 having a relationship with ?

- Seng Kit. HAHAHAHA. Just kidding. She's single and available and so hot. LOL! Ms M'sia Universe call back you know! X)

16. Is no.3 a male or a female ?

- a very cun and hot female. =)

17. If no.7 and no.1 get together , would it be a good?

- yeahhh! they would make a very cute couple. =P

18. What is no.1 studying about ?

- Electrical Engineering in INTI.

19. When was the last time you chatted with them ?

- oh wow, some i talk to everyday, some occasionally, some.. have not talked for months.

20.Is no.4 single ?

- Oh no, he has got himself a sweet chick! =)

still like this pic. =)

21. Say something about no.2

- She is Captain Awesome!

22. What do you think about no.3 & no.6 being together ?

- i think they'll get along really fine. =D

23. Describe no.9 .

-He's supportive of ridiculous things that i wanna do but pretty sarcastic at times. =D

24. What will you do if no.6 and no.7 fight ?

- They won't fight as they dont know each other but CMY has lots of patience! Never seen him getting pissed......yet...

25. Do you like 8 ?

- urhm, how am i suppose to answer that? hahaha. yeah, most prolly as a fren though i kinda don't like the way he types WHAT as WUT.

So that's about it i guess. to do or not to do is up to you~ =) and raymond, i've done it as i say i would. aren't you proud? =D

Chilling at Sky Bar.

2009-05-25T12:15:00.008+08:00

So what if it was a Thursday night. We still had fun!

So Kristine's exam has finally ended! Hooray! *cheers* and she was so keen on hanging out and i was keen on having a look at what sky bar's like ever since my elder sis mentioned about it and i say bring it on! =D Surprisingly my parents didn't say anything about me going out to a bar. The benefits of being on a holiday. Whee~

what is it like from our seat.

Thanks to kristine's planning, we manage to get one of the good spot. Our view was gorgeous. Overlooking KL city. As much as we hate it, i think we love it too when it's at night because of the lights! =) Orange light looks so good at night. I love looking at KLCC at night, it's beautiful from far, even more beautiful upclose. However, the not so good part is that, the place was actually kind of stuffy being open air and without air-cond.

drink. drank. drunk.

So we all agreed on ordering a bottle of white wine. Ben was given the honour to do so as he has more knowledge on what's nice and what's not. Drinking wine doesn't get one drunk. But it does makes one feel a bit high. =D So overall, the whole night was a lot of talking (on random stuff) and camwhoring. As you can see, the 1st pic was taken in the toilet. I like the toilet. For me, a toilet is very important. I hate going to places where their toilet is as good as the sewerage itself.

The very 1st one. Kristine look so cute. She reminds me of =3

we've been so long. =) you have seen my changes and i've witness yours. =)

bennie and me~ =)

Okay so one thing is, i didn't take a pic with darren. =/ The place is cool. But the pool (yeash, swimming pool) took up quite some place hence the walking path is actually quite small and our seat space is pretty tiny. but the tinyness makes us more close to each other? LOL. and also make it hard to move about even if we're in our own zone. And on a randomness, i wonder if any drunkies have fell or barfed into the pool before. hmmm. if i was a hotel guess there, i don't think i want to find out but then again, i think people had barfed into it before. *shudders* as much as i like to swim, i think i'll pass that pool, thank you.

them doing their gay thing.

ben and i doing OUR thing. =D

WTF right? but i'd like to think myself as that seeing that i've never been passed off as Hot. =(

me, always, always with the sleepy look. jeesh!

us trying to pass off as.. i don't know. kristine looks like she wanna kill!

you belong with me by taylor swift.

Hmm.. On another note, someone joined us at the bar! =) It's one of our online pal. okay, he found me somewhere (lol, i don't know which social profile) and i intro-ed him to kristine and he has been asking her out for so many times but never really made it until that day. i'll present you guys, Seng Kit. LOL.

yup. that's the dude!

He's quite a nice person but a bit quiet. hmm. maybe it's just because we're so damn loud! i caught people from the nearby table giving us the "shuddup" look for quite a few times. oh my. X) or maybe i'm just so paranoid. hahahaha!

wanna pose but fail oh so miserably.

i like this one. i like leaning on her. she's so nice to lean on. =3 not just physically but emotionally as well. teehee~!

nope. not going down yet. =)

actually, it's not just their toilet that looks good. heck, even their lifts looks good too.

the lift as backdrop.

Sorry, we really couldn't resist it. It's just so homely looking. =P

The camwhores.

So, another chilling session? =) let's pick another place as nice as this! then we'll have a lot more funny looking pics. hahaha! and at the same time, great pics. =)

Oh.... oh...... OHHHHH...

2009-05-20T11:48:00.004+08:00

I don't know what is wrong with me. =(

I crave for this thing that oozes warmth, that's sickly thick and sweet with a few tiny cubes.

Its taste, indescribable. Its aroma itself can send you floating towards the clouds.

i want it. i want ittttttttttt! *cries*

I want...

Jack's Place Apple Pie! (T_T)

No kidding. i've never fancied apple pie until one day when i tasted Jack's Place Apple Pie. It's warm, nice and.. and.. mouth watering delicious. =(

But right now, Jack's Place is so far away. I can only have this instead.

McD's Apple Pie.

Although the taste isn't as great as Jack's Place, but... it's the next best substitute for it.

Now, the only thing i have to do is make my ass move so that i can go get my apple pie. Ta now~

Sometimes

2009-05-15T11:48:00.003+08:00

it is you i don't understand.

Ever find it hilarious that sometimes the person that you think you know or perhaps understand the most turns out to be someone that you don't really know and understand?

Or maybe it is because you really want to see and believe you know that person thus creating an image that's all in your head? Accepting all the plus side and denying every flaws, hoping that the flaws would go away? Hoping that all the good side is adequate or more than adequate to cover up the flaws?

We're just humans. We make mistakes. We do things that sometimes we can't explain it to ourselves. From mistakes we learn. From the flaws we recognize, we strive to change for the better.

and one thing i've never quite learn to stop is hiding and taking every hurt and disappointment inside, shutting it somewhere and slowly poisoning myself.

ps: i'm just a human too. i can't be perfect.

Mmmm..

2009-05-12T11:28:00.007+08:00

As usual, i was chilling alone last night. The night before, dad accompanied me to watch this Malaysian movie called Love Matters. It was pretty good. Gives you a good laugh and some pretty good insight on life and love. =) but what's more interesting is the movie called

He's just NOT that into you.

Movie is based on a book actually and believe it or not, my elder sis bought the book way before it's made into a movie.

the book. the exact same cover!

I find the movie pretty intriguing. It revolves around a few couple with different relationship status and how it ends at the end of the movie. Most of them has a happy ending except for one. And that one was bad because the dude cheated on her and she was like trying to salvage it but it was only her and hers effort alone. So basically, i think the cheater deserves it. Deserve to get dumped. LOL.

Scarlett Johansson is hot. Before this i don't know what's the hype all about, now i know. haha. but too bad, she's the other woman. and she does it good. Justin Long is cute! Kyahh! xD

Okay, thing is, guys wouldn't really enjoy this movie because most of them are potrayed as jerks except for open minded ones who don't mind learning a thing or two about women.

Stephanie: I know your secrets.
Stephanie's Reflaction: And i know yours too...

Otherwise, i think girls should watch it! =) i think some can relate oh-so-well to these couples. =) it's not like a guide to tell you to be like them. it's more of, watch it and reflect on yourself,learn from their mistakes.

on a random note, shopping with a mum in super good mood is a good thing! =D she splurges on us well! =D

Godiva's CHOCOLIXIR.

We went for the Home expo in KLCC with mum. She was in a really really good mood! We had lunch in Dome before heading for the expo. After the expo, mum brought us to shopping! it was grreeeaattt! She really splurged a lot before we got this rm5 voucher for godiva. Then we went to the shop to get chocs. chocs cost like rm50 and above? it's madness! then we saw the chocolixir that costs like rm22 for one. Mum ordered choc peppermint which taste so heavenly!

Sandra have to have her choc at least one a day. i think she'd make a good chocolate model. LOL.
Sandra the Godiva Model.

Besides that, Gwen Stefanie's perfume smells really nice! Mum bought it. for herself. ps: doesn't mean we can't spray some on ourselves. hahaha. Okay, that's super random.

Just updating for the fun of it. Now i'd like to go play Jenny's fishshop. Ta now! =)

Vote for Ben! =D

2009-05-10T20:37:00.003+08:00

the hunk. =P

As you guys know, ben joined the Loreal Talent Search competition. =)

and..

He's one of the finalists! Yay! *claps claps*

this is his pic posted in the webbie. don't go checking out other hot chicks or dudes. LOL.

So here's a favor i'd like to ask from you guys, vote for him here!

of course, the voting is entirely on your own free will. =) but i'd really appreciate your help in voting for him.

THANK YOU to those who vote for him and for those who don't, it's okay. =) afterall, beauty is in the eye of beholder. THANKS once again to the voters. =D

Q: Why should i vote for him?
A: Ben's not your typical dude that acts all macho and shit. He's down to earth and pretty realistic, not to mention smart. Sometimes he makes older ppl (namely yours truly) feel a bit stupid. He's a good listener and well, he makes profit out of that. Well, that's because he's a part time counsellor. Eh, scratch that. Ben's hardworking and he likes to help out living things, by that i mean human and animals. He organizes trips to old folks home, orphanage and SPCA to help out the needys.

He may have some mood swing issues but that only happens when he's under huge pressure like the most of us. He's real good at cheering people up. One fine example was we went to One Utama yesterday, it was already like 10pm and we entered this shop called Hinode to get some stuff. The cashier was a bit moody-ish looking and while i was looking for stuff, he talked to the cashier and later on she smiled and look a lot happier. =)

Overall, Ben's a really great person. Most of the time he goes all out to make someone's day. Not that i'm saying other contestants aren't great but right now, to win your votes, i've to sell Ben la. LOL. So vote for Ben! =)

Quickie!

2009-05-04T13:24:00.012+08:00

Quickie sounds sooooo wrong!

But anyway, Cherating, i went and conquered. Mwahahaha. XD

Well, compared to Redang, Cherating is so so only la. but then, it's still gorgeous! =) At Cherating, at least we get to drive around, explore the town and Ben even drove us up to Kemaman! (that's terengganu already!) We left at about 6am and so begins our journey to Cherating! We made a slight detour as Ben took the fast lane. The fast lane to KL! HAHAHA!

we're in KL! I think that's called Jalan Maharajalela since the train station nearby is called Maharajalela.

at the Bank Negara roundabout.

Yeah, we had to u-turn back. The delay took us like.. 20 minutes? Hahaha. but we were in a good mood. Ben was practically laughing at those who were travelling to work. What a big meanie right? And soon we got to the right road and thus our journey truly begins. =)

road was clear! no cars! that's the East-West Highway. Whatever it is called. (-_-")

since i couldn't sleep the night before (due to excitement), i decided to take a nap only waking up when ben got stopped by Police! Dear was speeding near 180km/h! patutla kena! hmmph! he managed to sneak his way out and we lost rm30. =( eesh eesh. and dear didn't really learnt his lesson! always trying to speed up. and i was always, i repeat, always looking at his speed meter and reminding him not to exceed speed limit. *shakes head* guys. *sigh*

and soon we reach Cherating at about 10 something 11 am. it was awesome okay! the warm breeze. the coconut and pine trees. beach chairs. *swoons*

i think the pic would look so much better without me there. X3

Check in time was at 12. so we spend the next hour driving around town. well, the place was so quiet! and it feels dead. maybe it wasn't holiday season. Ben talked to the locals, and according to them, cherating isn't as "hot" as last time. they earn almost 90% less compare to last time. eek.

oily face! eekk!

and you wanna know what's the next best thing? We OWN the beach! yeah baby! there were a few ppl but ben and i were the only ones who totally go down to the beach, walk, race, built sand castles, pick seashells, bully some hermits. hahaha.

stephie and ben's baby.

ben doesn't wanna pose with his baby.

well, due to us wanting to spend lots of time by the beach, ben decided not to risk his baby love (his hp) hence, it's being kept away in the room. the first day, we didn't do much. ben had to nap as he was really tired but we hit the beach soon at around 4pm. We race along the beach, i was laughing so hard while running, ben was running in the water, hence some of the water splatter went into my mouth. eh, the water taste.. a bit.. sweet. it wasn't all salty like Redang's.

Then while Ben was playing with the sand (like a small boy), i went around, looking for hermits. they have tons of small little hermits! some as small as a grain of sand. a lot weren't even as big as a grain of rice! it was nice, sitting on a beach with the gentle waves caressing my legs and the warm breeze blowing my hair around. (ps: i look more like a deranged woman but who cares! *splash water around and grins cheekily*)

we went for their "huge pasar malam". and trust me it wasn't that big. it was medium size. but the people there sell a lot of food at dirt cheap price. the down side is, you don't see a lot of chinese and it gets intimidating there. we bought our dinner there before heading back to the hotel.

picturesque. =)

Since i missed out on watching breaking dawn in Redang, i resolved not to make the same mistake again here in Cherating. We woke up at 530, each had a cup of milo before heading out to the beach. the sky was brightening with a hint of pink.

pure bliss. =)

another one!

legs!

eh sun, faster come out la! =P

the couple. =) not ben and i.

even more picturesque. =)

sizzles.

burning hot.

rarara. i'm almost up!

i'm coming now so you better get the party started~

i'm up. you humans better get your ass covered or i'll burn you. xD

slippers~

wrapped in my pareo.

ben in red and white. xD

soon after, we went for breakfast and feeding spree. there's this feline, owned by the workers was wondering around begging for food. and after we fed it a few sausages, it smiled at us closing its eyes and crinkling up the nose. it was uber cute! too bad, ben hasn't transferred the pics to my comp yet. =/

the day was spent lazying about. we spend an hour by the beach in the morning before it got too hot and we went to the lazy chairs by the pools. it was total relaxation. X3 lunch was cup noodles and dinner at Kemaman again, this time at a restaurant called Bangkok. food was alright but we had to rush back as i wasn't feeling well.

well, i guess that's for now. =) just a mini update with a few pics. =P

Yeah, you know what i mean.

2009-04-16T10:47:00.006+08:00

that's me. my window. and my vanity table mirror. LOL.

Let's see what have i been doing for the past weeks if not bumming at home and wasting my time? *thinks*

Okay. that is practically it. BUMMING at home. *sigh* missed archuletta's concert. =( well, partly, it was my fault for going on a spending spree and not allocating some money for the CD. =(

Missed out Nuffnang Music Bash that Sandra chided me to write a post and get us the tickets which i didn't. =(

taken by kristine.

And then, i fell sick on monday night. =( no symptoms and stuff. went to bed feeling all burn up, *spoiler alert!* exactly like how Bella felt during her change in Breaking Dawn.Thing is, while i was all heaty inside, outside i was freaking cold. And it wasn't a good experience for sure. *shudders at the thought of it* That night, i could barely sleep, waking up at around 4 to pop a panadol in.

Then the very next day which was tuesday, i spend my whole day throwing up. I think that's on the too much information category isn't it? LOL. Well, yeah. everything i eat OR drink will end up in the toilet bowl in a matter of time. dad took me to see doc in the afternoon.

i find this rather emo. but i wasn't.

i told the doc my prob,

and the doc gave me a jab somewhere near my pelvic bone. WTF can? =( he said, if i don't think the jab, i'll throw up whatever meds he's giving me. so really have no choice but to jab. =( Heck he even gave me anti-vomit medicine to double dose it.

Thing is, it didn't work. the jab nor the med. i ended up throwing up as usual. by night time, i gave up after throwing up my dinner which was nestum and my meds. I went to bed with no meds to back-up my system.

Bennie~!

Ben came visit yesterday. and at 1st i was still nauseous, but after a while, i felt instantly better. in fact, after that, i felt a whole lot better. Now i'm more than fine. =D

Owh, Ben got chosen for the Loreal Talentsearch thing! =) He went for audition on last saturday. Pray for him for the next round eh? =) I'm proud. of course i'm proud. =D

Courage is all i need.

2009-04-05T20:59:00.007+08:00

They say in order to love someone, you have to love yourself first.

i say, it might not be true. or at least i don't really agree 100% on it.

cute pic courtesy of natalie s of akrichan.net.

It's weird you know. the phrase about loving yourself first. I find myself thinking about it. Does it mean you have to be selfish? To put yourself first before others? Or does it mean treating yourself right with respect and love?

i ponder. If that phrase applies..

i'll have everything that i wanted. designer handbags, limited edition phones, the most expensive laptop, the most beautiful dress, a nose job (=P), a knee job to be taller, a huge mansion with gorgeous furnitures, all the best seller books, a killer career, vacation to exotic places and the list just runs like water running down the stream.

i'll do the things that i want to do. join beauty pageants (which i don't think i have the guts), take up makeup course and hairdressing course, start my own dessert restaurant ( i love love love dessert!), open an online boutique, and it goes on and on.

i'll just be myself. say what i want to say (honesty is the best policy eh?). think what i want to think(being judgmental which i try to avoid). dress haggardly.(okay, that was just a joke!). i'd still wanna dress up like myself. =)

i'd be the ultimate B**** like queen Blair in gossip girl. on the second thought, maybe i wanna be claire bennet from heroes. then i don't have to worry about breaking any bones. xD

PORINGS! X3 uber uber cute!

So yeah, the term hardly applies. to me, i think. as in, love myself first. i think it's easier for me to love someone more than myself. i find it easier to give. it makes me happy to give. but if i give myself, i'd feel guilty. that, i don't know why. as much as i love giving, i love receiving too. =)

but i won't be a total doink la. i do love myself, if not i won't do some certain things which i want like dying my hair complete with highlights. getting myself a nice dress from an online boutique( yeah, i shop online these days ). sleeping early in the morning and wake up around noon. always changing my nail colour regardless fingers or toes.

and.. i realize...

it isn't enough.

i need courage.

courage to do the things that i want to do. especially posing for pictures. =P i don't think the cameras love me. i have to stop thinking that way. XD

and to prove that i love myself!

i'm gonna have lunch now. my stomach is growling.

and to show that i love ben,

i'll msg him. telling him i'm having the most wonderful lunch while he's in class. mwahahaha!

just kidding! =P

ps: i'll msg him to say the things that i want to say. =)

The Movie Which Makes Me Think.

2009-03-29T11:06:00.010+08:00

messy hair and makeup-less. LOL.

Yesterday (28/3/09) was a real hectic day. I Ko-ed around 11pm after a whole day of running about. I was damnnnnnnn tired. *shudders* Well, it was my school's prize giving day for those who achieved well in their academic performance. So, i woke up at 6.15am, after so long of sleeping in late! it feels great to wake up so early, i get to see those mists on mountains. LOL. *my house is up on a mini hill*.

The whole event lasted till a little after 12pm. I have to stay through the whole thing to collect my SHIELD. The one with my name printed on. The Big Ass thing that i've return to school that might never get displayed because there's two chinese name printed on it. LOL. 2 chinese name cause the 1st one is my senior's name. =) and then it's mine. and 3 more space to be filled.

the shield.

3 more spaces to fill it before it'll be discarded. LOL.

my name on it. Uber cool can, though the shield is nothing like king arthur's?

So in total, i actually got 7 Awards! *am i bragging? yes, i am bragging!*

After the whole event, Ben and i headed to McD's for lunch before heading home. Our initial plan was to go to the KL Bird Park but then it was such a sun shiny day and it was hot, so we decided to just chill indoor. He suggested catching a movie at Jusco which i was okay with. =) So i checked out the newspaper for movie schedule and there was only 2 movies we could make it. Knowing and 12 Rounds. I was kinda skeptical with those two as i really have no idea what is it about. So off i went to YouTube. People condemned 12 Rounds really badly so i went to check out Knowing's triller. Guess what? It's really intruguing. and the comments left by people were good. So we chose Knowing.

I say it's the one of the best disaster movie made after Independence Day starring Bill Pullman and Will Smith. Knowing is just as interesting and captivating minus the alien attack. =) After watching a few disaster movies lately, i thought Hollywood won't come out with anything as good as Independance Day but i was wrong. Knowing, is almost as great. =) And it was touching, i cried in the cinema, quite loud, according to Ben. *paiseh!* but watch it with an open mind, then you judge. Owh, and the ending? It's one of those unique ones.

We went home after that. I removed my makeup and change before, ben ask me to camwhore with him on his lappie built in camera. I think his lappie will die sooner or later. cause of death, taking too many pics of ben and i. LOL.

Ben with the tongue.

he was really bitting my head. (-_-") and i look uber ugly here. hahaha.

He went back after that. And i was so tired and sleepy but i didn't want to sleep. so i took my bolster, yeash, bolster, down with me to the living room. Lay down on the beanie and watch Gem Of Life, halfway through the show, i fell asleep. Woke up, get ready and went out for dinner with my family minus Sandra as she went to Capsquare for the event. =3

Went furniture shopping or rather sofa shopping. I was so sleepy and tired, i could barely made comments. Owh, and i saw some real sexy lazy chairs and sofa with zebra prints! xD yeash, i have a thing on zebra prints lately. xD me love the sofa with zebra prints. =( and it's cheap. or so i think for a small 2 seater sofa.

Reached home around 8.25pm. We didn't switch on the lights or anything. We lit candles instead. =)

i'm proud to say, the Lee Family, joined in the calling. =) Well, my mum was so semangat, she actually switched off the Fridge. I was like "MUUUUUM, that's too much!".

Some of my neighbours joined in, but mostly were ignorant fools that couldn't careless about the earth. You know, it's because of all these selfish being, we're all going to die soon. and i won't deny the fact that i hate my neighbourhood. they are selfish, and they think they are rich people when the biggest car around isn't even a BMW.

Yeah, they complaint to authorities about my dad keeping his lorry of gas in the house. They are afraid of dying yet doing nothing about the earth because by then, they'll be six feet under and their descendants are the ones suffering. And think that a gas seller can't live in a house in this neighbourhood because he works on pure labor. Those people better watch out after i graduate with my law degree, i'll find every fault in them and sue. yes, i think i'd love to go on a suing spree. *smiles angelicly*

ben, just like a little boy. =P

ps: more furniture shopping later. Ekk!

Luck and Bad Decision.

2009-03-23T12:55:00.002+08:00

photoshopped by sandra. =)

1st. 3 of my fingers got scalded early in the morning. Why? Because of my really untimely reflex. I was juggling a cup of 100 celcius or lower temperature tea, newspapers and two egg tarts. Cup in Left hand, tart on top of the folded half newspaper i was carrying. Tarts almost fell, left hand wanted to catch. And there goes. =/ What a way to start my morning. And i really DID jumped up and down in pain before running all the way to the water tap. =/

2nd. I planned to get my School Leaving Cert and my Prefect Cert. So i left at 10am. I was thinking to pay toll or not to pay toll. And i chose NOT to pay toll and the closer road to school. And well, i was stuck in the jam for 30 mins. (-_-")

Genting trip! =)

3rd. Upon reaching the school, i met up with Raymond to collect the Prefect Cert first. Alas, FINALLY met the teacher but she said "come back in another two days to collect the certs, i just saw the mistake on yours.". We went like WTF can? It's near April, and you still haven't got our certs done?! And i just received news from Raymond earlier, saying, we can only collect next week. =/

4th. Then i went to collect my School Leaving cert. I didn't notice any mistake. I was happy with it. So i walked out of school to my car. And then i saw it. REALLY F-ing STUPID mistake. The clerks should really go back to school! This time, they have my SPM results printed on the PMR placing. And for my SPM results, they just put a NIL. A F-ing NIL! I was like, damn, i must have been darn smart to take 10 subjects for PMR, totally skipped my SPM and Score pretty well for my STPM. *rolls eyes* then i have to walk back to school and have the clerk re-do the whole thing. Aih. He ask me to come back the next day. I am like, i'll give you till next week. *shakes head*

crystal jelly. Not for eating! =D

5th. Then i went to collect my driving license. I'm a C driver now! teehee. =D then i decide to get a TRIM. An Inch or TWO trim. So i went around looking at the prices. I saw this shop offering a rm20 haircut. So since i only need a f-ing trimming. I went in. Without any doubt.

When she started cutting, that's when i start regretting my decision to even enter the bloody saloon. She didn't measure my hair. And went on a trimming and thinning spree happily. I came out with my hair 4 inches shorter than before i went in. When i was paying, She even dared to smile at me and ask me to come again. My god. That's the 1st and the last time i'll ever enter THAT shop.

So now, it's.. very wavy, pretty short and bloody dry.

I suppose today is of bad luck and bad decision. *sigh*

Prince, it's your birthday! =)

2009-03-16T11:53:00.009+08:00

my prince, as everyone know. =)

Prince's birthday is on..

14th March! Yay! =) Birthday and White Valentine, how sweet. =3

Well, for his birthday this year, we've decided to celebrate with his family but.. didn't turn out as it is. =( And my so last minute planning for lunch with his coll mates didn't work out too. =( Owh well. But we did enjoyed ourselves at the curve. =)

I know what i wanted to get him but each Nike outlet either has the last piece or the size is simply gone. =/ So i got him to bring me to the curve.

And.. i got 5 pairs of earrings, two nail polish (blue. i'm so crazy about blue lately!) and a dress. =3

*gasps* lucky you didn't get me the costumes as souvenir! xD

But still managed to get him his pressie from Pyramid and my own pressie. =3 as a reward to myself. *sounds so sad!*

And here's a post dedicated to my prince. =3

Benjamin Tan Chung Young. I met him through Friendster. Sounds a bit cliche. I know. Hahaha. At that time, i just came back from Redang Island (i wanna go again! X3) and i don't know how but he just ended up leaving a comment on one of my picture. =) and since he left a question, i replied him. LOL. And he wasn't even on my friend's list, thus, the friendship turned relationship begins. xD

urhm, pizza anyone?

Ben's charming. Admit it! *points a knife at readers*. =) Okay, not to everyone especially those who are afraid of him. *giggles* But Ben really is a charismatic person. He makes friends easily. He can practically suit himself in any, ANY situation. And that's what i love about him. He makes me feel really comfortable with him especially on the first day of meeting him in real person. Even Sandra warmed up to him in within minutes. =) It feels really easy being with him. And what's more surprising is, he's mature for his age. =P

Ben is the only person that i can really really show myself. My immatureness. My bimboness. At times, it annoys the hell out of him but he handles it really well. =D What to do lar, it makes him laugh when i annoy him with silly question like "Why is the sky blue?". That was just an example. I NEVER asked him that. i know the answers anyway. =/

even the kebab cook warmed up to him.

Ben has really good leadership skills. =) Even my cousin sister was impressed when she look at Ben's profile in his friendster. Hahaha. Ben, now you know! =D He runs his club really well and he's very dedicated to it. He organizes a lot of events. Helpout at SPCA, Orphanage, Camps, Talks, Activities. But all wouldn't be successful if it's not for his club members too la. =D

He is also a super helpful person. =) I think he enjoys helping people at times. Running errands, doing favors for people. *Happily sigh* Ben's so not a typical malaysian like.. yours truly.. =P . He helps whenever he can. Where else, i'm the type that waits for people to help the person who needs help except maybe for life and death situation la. =/ Ben likes to help people, Stephie likes to help animals if possible because they are cuter. =P

My prince is also very knowledgeable. =3 He taught me a lot of things i wouldn't think of, especially food! He thought me how to taste, which is which, the difference between whipped cream and cream, how to pronounce steak, the right way to eat steak, how to taste wine (though i haven't really grasp it right yet.). He also introduced me to Edamame, Italiannies, D'Tavern, Carl's Junior, Mee Suah and.. *thinks* a lot others? =D (ps: he knows how to cook too!)

his dad with the pipe. his mum with the smile. and ben with the.. smile too. =)

Do you know he's actually a clean freak? He's so opposite of me. I'm rather messy and not so much of a clean freak. but doesn't mean i'm not clean! xD When we first met, i remember thinking to myself, he's such clean freak!, whenever he tells me he's cleaning the house, the toilet or cleaning lucky. =/ he even comes to my place to scrub... pots... = = NOT that my parents didn't clean properly, it's just, we don't scrub pots. (-_-") and when ben sees a pot, his itchy hands can't stand it, and start scrubbing pots though i asked him not to. countless of times. aih. *shakes head*

Bennie is also a very sweet person. =) Very sweet. He goes all out to make me happy though the last 3 days haven't been that sweet but still.. *hugs* i guess, it happens in a relationship, no? We talked it over and it's settled, i hope. =3 he gives me roses occasionally. and last friday he gave me an african daisy that looks like sunflower if you ask me. hahaha.

Although Saturday didn't turn out that well, i hope next year things would be different. Afterall, next year is when you hit the BIG 2 0. =) *hugs* so next year, i promise it'll be different. if it doesn't, i'll MAKE it happen. =3

Happy Birthday My Love! =)

*hugs and kisses*

ps: i'll always be by your side no matter what. just like you with me all the time. =)

And it feels like this..

2009-03-10T23:28:00.018+08:00

calming. serene. nostalgic.

I took a gamble. A gamble which MIGHT cost me my future. As in literally. Or not. I don't know. But still, i took it without weighing the consequences much. I just know, when i decided to do it, i'll give in everything that i could and to make sure things turn out the way i wanted it to be.

Surprisingly, it did.

i say we look really good here. =3

I was from Science Stream. Changing into Art's Stream was a really big step for me. I didn't have any Arts Foundation. I didn't know much about Economics nor Business Studies. And i opted for these two subjects plus History (now, if anyone doesn't know a bit of it, then i've got nothing to say lar.. xD )

For the 1st two months, i was actually struggling. I didn't understand much about Econs or business studies. Basically, i was pretty blur. And at that time, i was really afraid. I was afraid that i made the wrong decision. It's like starting a whole new life altogether.

Then i pull myself together and force myself to understand. Which, sort of work? Thinking in a new perspective. Thinking LIKE econs. And thinking like a Business woman. It worked pretty okay for me.

Pn.Norishah, the datin in our hearts. <3>

Honestly? I've never scored really well for my business paper 1, and history paper 2. i struggled really hard for these two papers. Always trying my best to write the answers the teachers wanted. Even so there were a few teachers who encouraged us a lot. =) Pn. Norishah, Pn.Dyanthi, Pn.Siti Meriam and Pn.Che Rusidah but Pn.Norishah was the one that makes us feel like she's our mum. I heart her can? Almost wanted to ask her to become my Kai Ma earlier. =P

So yeah, as you guys know, today was the BIG day! I woke up around 8 something? The night before i had to drink a bottle a beer before going to sleep which work like a magic potion! in within 30 mins of consuming it, i totally KO-ed till the next day. Ben stayed over. =3 He did a lot of things to get my mind of the whole result thing which worked like magic. I did forget about the whole thing until.. 11am. That was went i felt the panic bile rising AGAIN! Waited another 30 mins before getting ready because my mum had some work for me but it was a false alarm. cheh!

Without you guys being there by my side throughout the whole journey, my success wouldn't mean anything. (Amirul, Raymond, Wai Hong, Nadira, and yours truly. Missing from the picture: Chui Kheng and See Yun)

Reached school around 12.15pm. Results were released. It was damn obvious where the results thing would be. The tables were set up in the foyer! O_O *gulps* *hearts beat faster* *The theme from Psycho started playing in my head* then i saw Pn.Norishah. Instantly i felt so much relax. Okay, i was still panicking! Flora was looking at her results and... her face didn't look okay... and then i was thinking "DIE LO! If she look like that, i better be prepared to look like that too!"

And.. *jeng jeng jeng!* it was my turn to take a seat. Pn.Norishah was smiling at me. (Of course she has to smile, or else you'll feel damn bad okay!) then i smiled. She asked me to look for 2 Certs. School leaving Cert and my testimonial. I was shaking when i looked through the papers. And then she couldn't stand it anymore. Yeah, she was like a balloon waiting to burst the confettis out of her. She went like "Steph, CONGRATULATIONS!" Steph went like "huh?" , shocked. She continued.. "You've scored STRAIGHT A's!" For a moment, i was like so dumb founded. I just stared. The happiness building up in me. "Teacher, are you joking?"

She smiled and said, "Serious! You scored straight A's!" I started crying! God, embarassing can? She was shaking my hand when i just blurted out "I'm GOING to U.M!" and her eyes was red and teary, like she was gonna cry for me too. She nodded and said happily," yes! you're going to UM!" and i took a full 2 minutes of crying, teachers from other tables whipped out their phone and started taking pictures of me. Swt Betul. Then i teared my results slip. It was.. straight A minus. DAMN! i didn't thought of A minus. My sis scored A's without the minus. So basically i lost to her by 0.33 pointers overall. Pif!

Then phone calls and messages came in. Thank you to those who called and send in messages! =)

we were all in it together. =)

I was thinking naively also. I was thinking, my mum would look at me in a new light, that i wasn't the failure of the family at all. in fact, i was just as good. but then, that thought was crushed when she called and asked me about my results. i told her i got straight A's. then she asked for my pointer which i told her. Wanna know what was her reaction? "Why so LITTLE?".. i was stunned.. and i wanted to cry again. I mean, i worked so f-ing hard to earn a little bit of appreciation and all i've got is.. "why so little?!" i went like.. "How much do you want then? it's like one of the best already." then she asked.. "will it get you into NUS?"

I was pissed. My aunt was brain washing her for 5 months about it. and she succumbed to it. I DON'T want to go NUS. I didn't work for that and i'm not about to let someone like her to whipped me away from here. *&^%!

Oh well, doesn't matter now. There are a few people that i'd love to say thanks to regardless they WILL read it or NOT.

you look the handsomest when you smile. i always thought you look like Jet Li when you were young. teehee~

1st person would be my dad. Thank you for being there for me all the time. Even when i did not do you proud (SPM) , you didn't look down on me nor shunned me for it. you always say doesn't matter what the outcome is as long as you've tried your best for it. i know you were dissapointed but you hid it well. Even so, it hurts to see you hiding it like that. What i have done and achieved today, i did it for me and for you. And though i know it wasn't as great or as good as Sis's. I know when you saw it, you were a bit proud. I also know that i've lessen your burden to put me through higher education. Thank you for believing in me always. =)

one eyed jet? =P

2nd, Ben. My prince, i'm soooo glad to have you in my life. I've always said the same phrase but it really feels like it, i was not lucky to have you, i was BLESSED to have you in my life. Thank you for being there when i needed you the most. Thank you for letting me rant, complaint, merajuk, and cry during my exam period. You were always there, encouraging me, supporting me through it all. =) Thank you for believing that i could do well and most probably the best. =D And also, thank you for Alex the lion. Without him, i wouldn't have slept well during STPM. And now, our future is much clearer instead of murky like it was a year ago. =)

i <3> you

3rd, Sandra. You...may not be the best person on earth in terms of encouraging me.. =P but you're always there whether i've been mean to you or NOT. Thank you for always believing in me and most probably one of the person who understands me the most. =)

4th, Jac. You are the person i've looked up to since i was 12. You didn't know it but i guess now you do. Yes, i look up to you because you're smart though a bit naive. And i was always trying my very best to succeed like you do and now, i think i have though i wasn't as good as you. Thank you for always listening to my rants and encouraging me to do well. =)

the hottest pic i have of you.

5th, Kristine. My closest and oldest friend. One of the person who knows and most probably understands me the most. If i ever need someone to support me, i know it would be you. If i ever need a really good opinion, it would be you too. Though we don't see each other much, we're still close despite i don't know who Nathan (izit Nathan?) is. But at least, i know who is Noel. =P just kidding! Thank you for being there, and your words of encouragement on monday. =) it did make me feel much better. =)

you look super fine here. =) though tricia have taken the whole space. =D

6th, Mel. Mel, Mel, We always say we're clossies. We are but hmm. we don't update with each other much. But it's okay for me. =) though i might not know much that's happening in you life, you know i'd always be here to listen like how you're always there to listen to me. Thanks for the thoughfulness of wishing me luck. =3 and most certainly, thanks for always leaving comments on my blog even though at times i didnt reply. =3

i know you <3>

7th, Darren. You are always there, staying neutral, not taking sides. Even so, i believe you do dislike people. heh! Anyway, thanks for everything. =) when i need someone for a favour, i know you'll always be there. =D thanks again! =D

8th, Chris Tan. We may not be close but you always make me feel very privillaged to listen to your rants and problems. =) and thank you for sharing your stories with me. I hope the best for you as you for me. Thank you for your words of encouragement and for supporting me. =)

9th, all my classmates and schoolmates especially Chui Kheng, Raymond, Wai Hong, See Yun, Amirul, and Nadira. You guys, i can't believe two years passed so fast! I had tons of fun with you people. And going through form 6 with you guys have been nothing but one of the most memorable thing ever. May this not be the last time we ever crossed path but many more to come. =) Thank you guys for always believing that i'll do well. =) Without all of you, life in school would have been boring. =)

and lastly, Mum. you are the only one person who's always hard on me. no matter how much i tried to please you or do you proud, it's never enough. But that's a good thing i guess, at least i strive and aim for the best. Even so, i wish you would noticed i'm growing up and with you being like that to me all the time, one day i'll grow out of it. grow out of trying to make you proud. but till then, i'll still do my best, to have you realize i'm NOT what you always think i am. still, thank you for being a poker face all the time. *ps: i know deep down somewhere, you were glad i did well." not showing it, just to make sure i don't get too proud with myself. just to make sure i stay humble after all. Thank you. =)

WTF!

2009-03-06T11:43:00.005+08:00

My palms are sweaty. hell, my feet are too.

my stomach is BLOODY churning! my insides feel like falling out. i suddenly lost the appetite.

GOD! WHY NOWWWWWWWWW?

*sobs, sniffs, sobs*

I'm NOT through with the holidays yet! OMG! *sniffs*

when i need you the most, you're going to college! *brawls my head off*

WHY in the world did i missed out that news?! WHY in the world i signed in my email acc and saw that bloody piece of news posted on Kong Wey Keat's(1 Amanah class clown, remember?) blog TODAY!

i didn't believed it until.. i saw.. my fellow schoolmates posted something about the results on facebook. *&^%!

hyperventilates *breathe stephie, BREATHE!*

i just saw the news. heck and i even googled it.

STPM results is coming out on...

10th MARCH!

can i just keel over and so die?

the news was released last thursday and i'm "DAMN" lucky to find out today.

there goes my excitedness and everything else. *sigh*

i didn't exaggerate about the hyperventilating part. i was. i m suffering shortness of breathe. you know what? i think i'm gonna lie down for a bit. and most prolly, try to shop hard. can we go clubbing on monday night? i know i won't be able to sleep. hmm? hmm? anyone? =(

What Hurts The Most?

2009-03-03T23:33:00.004+08:00

back when i was 17.

By Rascal Flatts.

I'm talking about the song. though it has been like 3 years but i still like the song though it brings back horrible memories. *shudders* it also reminds me of the cameron trip with kristine and her family. i was damn addicted to the song.

it's lost now.

What Goes Around Comes Around by Justin Timberlake reminds me of Redang for god-knows-what-reason. Amen.

What hurts the most? I say, i won't know it now though i've been cut before. deeply. but that was like so long ago. so now whenever people talk to me about it, i know how it feels. the pain. the agony. the sleepless nights. the loss appetite. the tears. the part that's lost from your very soul.

sometimes, memories are not lost. they are just hide themselves after a long time.

but then, i think that's not the worst as there are other feelings just as bad. unrequited love. or knowing you already have that person but you can't have him/her due to unseen circumstances. I suppose, i understand why it makes people feel depressed. being rejected is also bad. i think i've been rejected before. it wasn't that bad because it was just a stupid rebound crush. LOL.

Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood.

er, not that i've been cheated la. okay. i was. in another way. but it wasn't the i-found-him-in-the-bed-naked-with-another-girl kinda cheat but it does hurt the same. When a relationship is based on lies, lies and more lies, there ISN'T a foundation there. the worst part is finding out the lies, not white ones but those with the mean to hide something.

emo-period.

*sigh* i see people emo around me. i also emo. =/

i'm easily influenced. emotionally. which is a rather bad thing.

1st, one of my clossies.

2nd, he, who comes to me when he needs someone for an opinion.

3rd, she who says she falls in love with shayne ward's I Cry (which is f-ing emo).

4th, i just got a bunch of emo songs from Ben. (-_-")

5th, i feel so lonely.

ps: i should really be more cheerful. *sigh*

Babes, Clothes, Shoes and SALES!

2009-02-28T10:58:00.005+08:00

CNY: Ben and his double eyelids. xD

You know, these 2 months really sucked. okay, you probably didn't know.

as my last post said, i'll be shifting to a new place but in the same area so yeah, we did. but here's the thing, there's no landline therefore no internet. so for the past 2 months, i've been living under the coconut shell (malay saying) or turtle shell (chinese saying) or.. i've no idea what's the english saying or simply because i can't think of it right now. haha. so for the past 2 months, what have i been doing? i've no idea. *sigh*

so results are coming out next month. though it's just 2-3 weeks time ahead, i'm feeling all jittery. sleepless nights. constant thinking and remembering what happens if i don't well. *shudders* I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT! *nyah!!* You know, dang these exams. why? because! simply because! they are so TRAUMATIZING! i don't know about you but sometimes i dream of sitting for PMR. By god i should be dreaming on STPM but no, i dream of PMR. You see how traumatizing it is?!

diamond rings. =)

Hmmm, if you noticed, malaysia seems to be on sales 365 days a year. Christmas sales then it was just sales, then it's cny sales and then it's just sales again. i mean, sales
has so lost its meaning. =/

still, though it has lost its meaning, i m still a sucker for it. LOL. i mean, i like sales. doesn't everybody. in fact i get pretty excited until..

Stephie: Guess's having sales!

Ben: . . . . . .

Stephie: means i can get a new bag.

Ben: . . . . . . .

Stephie: can we go?

Ben: Darling, lets say you like this bag that cost rm600 at usual price, then the price slashes
50%, will you still get it?

Stephie: No.

Ben: *So can we just stay at home?* ** means never saying it loud but just thinking about it.

and then, the spirit deflated and i'd rather just stay at home.

okay, here's also a thing. with sales going on everyday, you just don't have mood to shop anymore. last time when sales was seasonal, you go crazy because the price is marked down and you go crazy getting all the tops, skirt, dresses, shoes and etc. but now, it's like no point going to shopping when things are always marked down by 10-30%. I'd say it's a marketing strategy and people get conned and they still don't know. LOL.

who knows a cardigan actually costs RM50. then the price tag says rm60 but because of discount of 15%, you pay about rm51 for the cardigan. they earn extra rm1. LOL. i'm getting twisted.

talking about cardigans, i like the ones in GAP. but they are like almost rm200 for a f-ing cardigan. it's kinda crazy when you think about it. =/ the colours are attractive but paying rm200 for a basic cardigan is just plain crazy.

looks like pavillion but at the same time it looks like One U. I think it's pav since One U doesn't have that monkey shop. =/

and then, shoes. i don't really like shoe shopping. =/ but then, during cny, i fell in love with this pair of gold heels. never got it because of no size. hahaha. then the other day i saw it again with the correct size, but, by then, i already fell outta love with it. simply because, gold heels. but now thinking back, i should have gotten it. it's unique. swt betul.

right now, i am spending my days reading books. lots of it too. basically, i don't mind paying rm200 for books. why? because they are interesting and also because..

i don't have the guts to drive to Midvalley or beyond yet. so i'll just stick to books for now. and tv if you don't mind. =D

well, i guess that's all for an update? teehee~

And All That's Left Are Just Memories.

2009-01-16T17:42:00.009+08:00

bronze reminds me of antiques.

Well, I'm feeling sad. It's not a bad thing really. i mean, people do have to feel down once in awhile right? i can't believe time actually passed so fast, and that a week, my final week, has gone in a blink of an eye. *sigh* all these while, i've been lazying around. wasting my time online shopping and playing pet society to keep my mind off. okay, not really since i've been curtain shopping and running errands a lot but still, i can't believe my time here is up.

did i mention to you guys that i'm leaving?

yeah, i am leaving this place. maybe to a better place. i don't know. i mean, i sure hope there aren't any karaoke maniacs there singing god-knows-how-old hokkien and mandarin songs.

Today, i walk around the house, reminiscing the memories. it's funny how i'm about to leave this place after tomorrow. I think i'm supposed to feel all hyped up but then, no. i actually feel a bit down about leaving. Parents haven't decided to keep or sell the house yet. I just know Sandra and i will definitely buy this house from them when we get older.

mischievious duo.

Funny eh? Not so after you practically grew up in this place and all of a sudden, you're leaving. I shifted here back when it was 1995. I was 6. You can imagine how excited i was back then. i didn't have to worry about a single thing. heck, i didn't even have to pack my own clothes. things just come. and all of a sudden, at the age of 6, i own a wardrobe. a pretty big one too. a hand me down from my elder sis. haha. at 6, i was okay with a lot of things. =D

looking back, this is the place where a lot of events in my life take place. i learn a lot of stuff here. dad taughtt me things. granny taught me things. mum taught me things (by sheer force at times), elder sis taught me things, heck, even my younger sis taught me things. LOL!

I really am gonna missed this house.

Sandra and i were really the mischievious duo at home. we actually gave quite a lot of problem to my grandma i think. hahaha. we may be laughing at one moment and the next we'll be screaming and engaged in a catfight. of course, i'll win and sandra learnt the art of blackmailing!

she always go like "i tell mum you whack me!"

for a few years, i was tormented by it. i mean, sandra's obviously the apple of my mum's eye. if mum were to know i hit sandra. *shudders* i'll get caned, badly. so whenever she threatens me, i'll keep quiet and let her be.

then one day, she blackmailed me again. i couldn't take that kinda emotional torture anymore and i went like "tell lah!"

coz i love them. =D

but she didn't. =D one thing i love about sandra is, she's able to keep her mouth shut about my secrets no matter what. =D even if i smack, scold or do whatever to irritate the shit out of her, she will not revenge herself by telling me out. *sayangs sandra*

besides that, we've got a pretty big porch. dad bought us each a four wheeled bicycle. it was easy peasy. =D owh, and have i tell you that, i was actually a really friendly kid back then? i go around making friends with my neighbours! hahaha! i actually ask my grandma to teach me B.M just to get to know a couple of malay kids down the road! xD so yeah, i made friends with Michelle, Adrienne oh (yeap, the pretty girl from school), some dude back then whom i think i had a crush on, Su-Li, Gloria and Steven, Joey, Melvin, and.. and.. Jin Rui! hahaha!

and i remember last time, i used to cycle around a lot. and i wasn't afraid of talking to strangers. i don't think my parents ever warned me about that. or maybe they did but i really didn't listen. and while cycling about, i can actually make friends with other kids which were cycling about. it's dangerous! because..(= =) boys older than me talk to me and i usually responded. (-_-") i was lucky i wasn't kidnapped!

okay, besides that, this place is also where sandra and i accidentally hurt our granny during one of our catfights. i was pushing sandra. back then, i was taller and gangler than her. granny tried to stop us. i can't remember who, but one of us accidentally pushed her. she fell on her back and hit her head on the door. man. we immediately stop our fight and panicked. elder sis was there and she scolded the hell outta us. (-_-")

one big happy family~ =D

owh, did i mention, as kids, we used to hate our elder sis lots? coz to us she was stuck up. hahaha! basically it's cause she was a teenager and we were annoying brats running around screaming our asses off? hahaha. and she hated us for making so much noise. once she even scolded us. sandra and i planned revenge. lol. the plan was?

wake up at 3am and start pounding on jac's door silly before running back to our room. hahaha! sandra was already a good artist back then and actually drew stick figures of us. on jac's character it was written "takut sampai mati." i love that blue print but it went missing. hahaha! and well, we didn't carry out the plan because i was the one who talk sandra out of it. well, we planned that in the afternoon? so by evening, i totally forgot abt it. then at exactly 3am, sandra woke me up saying she WANTS to carry out the plan. i was like, babe, it's 3, and i wanna sleep and i continue sleeping.

then we learn how to cycle on two wheeled. and we actually learn how to rollerblade. thanks to gayanisha and ayusha for their generousity of lending us their rollerblades that we learnt how to skate. =D

after moving here, dad started spending more time with us, bringing us to the club house and he taught us how to swim! he was aso the one who encouraged me to ride my elder sis's bike though my legs were barely touching the ground.

dad taught me how to colour. dad taught me how to read. hahaha. yeah, he bought me peter and jane series. and taught me word by word. that's how i got hooked on reading. and now, our house actually has a clutter of books everywhere. living room, guest room, family hall, bedrooms, even toilets. LOL.

dad also bought us our first turtles 9the cheap rm5 ones?) . which in the end, he's the one having to clean and scrubbed them silly. he bought us fishes too. gold fish, guppies, baby kois, angel fish, siamese fighting fish and a few others. that' s when i really like guppies because they are colourful. i even witness guppy giving birth. (yes, guppies give birth, they don't lay eggs like normal fish). we even had terrapins. =D dad also bought us chicks!

my first chick was an orange baby chicken while sandra was a purple one. what happened to them? they ran away one afternoon after we played with them and forgot to put them back into cage. god knows what has befallen on them. then came another 2 brown chicks. one got taken away by a neighbour's dog which we know what fate has befallen on it, and another, my dad traded it to the chicken seller in the market. that night, i refused to eat the chicken.

cute? cinnamon roll. i bought it for sandra. LOL.

then came out first dog, real name snoopy, nicknamed brownie. hahaha. brownie was damn adorable when she was a pup. we loved her to bits. i remember her running towards us when we came home from school. but then, it was mere puppy love, once she got older, sandra and i tend not to pay her much attention, making her rebellious against us and lack love. *sigh* i regretted it. i mean, she was a gentle dog. very feminine but she left the world about 2 years back. and that's when i realize i actually loved her. she died of cancer.

then my dad bought another pup. we named it mocha. mocha was adorable too! but mocha was.. (-_-") not so feminine. she's very active. very hyped. very.. (-_-") dirty as well! she likes rolling in the mud. (-_-") but mocha, though lack love, was a really obedient dog. =) and a pretty good watch dog too! =) then dad took her for mating and she gave birth to 9 pups. really cute ones. because back then i was a science student, i helped her with her giving birth process. LOL. and you know what? she stole my limelight that year. why? cause she gave birth on 2/12/2005. my sweet 16 birthday. but it doesn't matter because the pups made it up. =D

but sadly, mocha passed away during her 2nd year of pregnancy in 2007. she was heavily pregnant and we didn't know she wasn't feeling well. we went out for dinner and came home to find her dead in the bushes. that hit me hard.

then my dad got a new pup a few months later. name is milo. *shudders* i'm sorry to say, he's an owner's nightmare! X3 and we gave him away after not being able to cope with his antics.

my bed! =D just the frame. teehee.

then this is also where i got my first hamsters! hammie and snowy. hammie ran away. snowie and her offsprings were eaten by cat after the fateful death of mocha. *sigh* but hammie jr (2nd generation) and miney (2 generation) survived. both died last year in december due to old age. now i own ONE roborovski.

and this is also the house where my elder sis got married. =) happy ending in year 2007. =) sandra and her were both crying a lot on the actual day where she got married. i was miffed because everyone was relying on me. (-_-")

actually, there're lots more worthy memories, but then, i think, i'd love to keep those in my heart. =)

and yeah, i'm shifting on sunday.

in the same place but diff section and definitely a bigger house. i believe, we can build new memories there. =) but first, all the cleaning and furniture buying have to be done. epp!

Of Dramas and Tears

2009-01-12T23:14:00.006+08:00

doesn't exist in real life, or does it?

I used to think HK dramas are really over rated. i mean, who would argue over small lil stuff?

it happened today.

she is F-ing hypocrite. anything goes wrong, blames steph. had a bad day, vent it on steph. steph said the wrong thing, zooms into it and attacks that sore spot.

yeah. i had a bad one with her today. almost decided to actually leave the house for good. i salute my dad for his patience and love. i admire my dad the most for that beautiful quality of his.

obviously i m the smaller bear.

Q: what is the cause of today's war ( i had one ally while she had none, mwahahaha!) ?

the cause.

A: One word : Curtains.

Yesterday, my lovely younger sis n her went to look for curtains in macy. apparently curtains there aren't as beautiful or lovely as they thought. so they didn't buy any. she F-ing pin the blame on me saying that because i wasn't there they couldn't buy anything.

Steph : HELLO?! You can always f-ing buy whatever you want without me there okay? i don't have to pay for it. you do. get whatever you want. i can always get it another day. buy whatever you think is neccessary.

but reality is, they didn't buy anything. and the so called reason coz i was NOT there.

then she ask me to go get the f-ing curtains. i said okay with the help of sandra. sandra was bloody blur alright. it was also because of my mum indecessiveness, she was soooo blur about a lot of things. dad LAGI blur. then since no one was there to decide. i was stupid n i took the liberty to decide. look, i admit i m not the smartest on earth or in the family. it didn't occur me when i made the f-ing decision for everyone.
i bought white curtains for daylight curtain. and i bought it for the each window.

Q: define daylight curtain.
A: daylight curtain is the inner layer, the one close to the window, usually in translucent material to lighten the blazing sunlight streaming in to the house.

then she f-ing have to scold me saying the material didn't worth the money. she chided me from mahkota all the way to guardian in sg long and all the way home. i had enough. i yelled and scream back at her. saying things that i've hidden inside for so long. and she was taken aback. then she started attacking me for the things i said.

jeng jeng jeng!

before turning into the street, she ask me to get out and to not go home. which i said fine. i got out and slammed the f-ing door. then i walked home. boy, i was f-ing pissed. when i got home, dad came out n brought me in. when she saw me, she started asking me to leave which i said I WILL!

then i went into my room. she had to come after me. i called my elder sis and said i wanna stay with her for the rest of my life. LOL. then that woman have to keep screaming for me to leave. my dad came up. ( that's when i feel he's damn manly, hahaha!) he said to my mum in a really confident n loud voice. "She's NOT going anywhere, you are being unreasonable!"

but dad got into trouble for helping me. mum actually asked him to leave. (-_-") which he said "fine, i'll leave with her." by then i was crying. i was so pissed. i started crying. i wasn't sad. i was bloody angry. (-_-") god, i havent got so angry till i cry but this, i was pissed. i packed my bag and left. waiting for my dad. then dad argued some more. and before i know it, i was in the house. and my mum was still f-ing attacking me. *sigh*

it was bad. but i calmed down after that. and you know what? for that moment, i really hated her and i wished she wasn't my mum but i can't do much rite? i mean, this is life. i can't choose my mum. my dad said that. ben said that. royston said that.

then everything was resolved. but i dont think i wanna see her YET. dad asked me to apologized for what i said. i didn't apologized. i don't think i was at fault. and i wouldn't. or maybe i would. when i m in the mood but right now, i won't. coz i didn't do anything wrong! hmph!

4th Of Jan

2009-01-05T17:03:00.010+08:00

you and me. =)

Yeap, Kristine Thong Mei Chuin was born on 4th of Jan 1989. =D Just imagine if she was born 5 days ahead! We wouldn't even be such close friend nor hanging out together! *a horrible thought that i wouldn't want to think of!*

She held a party on the 3rd of Jan aka last Saturday. The reason why i couldn't post this entry any sooner was because my darling comp was infected with the trojan virus. Nasty little things they were. *shakes head* totally nasty.

i really hate my cheeks. =/

Anyway, this entry isn't going to be about me, how i enjoy seeing her drunk or how i love the sausages despite their looks! =P this would be a post mainly about her. =) I've never done anything for her, or at least i thought so. i've never said anything that changes her life. i've never been a perfect friend. and i'm always or usually the last to know about things going on in her life because my lack of skill to communicate or keep up with people's life or you can actually say the world revolves around me while i'm in my lair (namely, my house).

the trio of what's left back of S.K.T.R!

Kristine, came into my life (sounds so gay, tsk tsk) when i was 11. Well, she was transferred to S.K.T.R from Sri Garden. Back then, i've no idea what's private school or gov school. I just know a school is a school. thinking back right now, i think it must been such a shock and scary to actually come to a gov school with no friends. alone. and totally awkward. but she was lucky as that primary school mainly consist of malay and there were very few chinese around. =P as a kid, i was pretty friendly. i like to approach people but not now. i shudder at the thought of talking to perfect strangers.

the first time i saw kristine, i thought she was pretty weird. tall, skinny, wears glasses, long hair and shy. she couldn't even speak a word of canto. just english. now here's the weird thing, my english back then was really bad though i read enid blyton! xD it improved somewhere when i was 14 or 15, only realizing that i shouldn't be afraid of words! xD

In primary school, i am sad to say that kristine isn't my close friend. We barely talk to each other as i recall. even if we do, i can't remember much. I used to think she was a smart kid, not that i don't now but i was intimidated. afterall, she speaks english! hahaha! and she has that very mature aura that surrounds her. it's weird that she has become such a playful thing while i become more serious and less laid-back. everyone i know seems to change into aggresive, complicated people to fit the society but kristine was the otherwise. she became more simple and less complicated.

i didn't know becoming 20 is so depressing! xD bear with me when i m the one tearing kay? hahaha!

naive was never a word to describe kristine. she was never naive. in fact, i think she knows the world better than most of us at the age of 11. Kristine's unique. she has no crushes or whatsover. =/ i do know i started having crushes at the age of urh.. 10? LOL. it's weird. but anyway, it didn't apply to Kristine. She only started having crushes recently! =P

Since i couldn't say much about her last time when we were kids, i certainly have much to say about her now!

goned but still looking hot. hey, these 2 would make a cute couple eh? xD

from an ugly duckling, kristine has became a hottie! she's not ur typically bitchy type of hottie. she knows she's hot but she doesn't really show it. she's patient in listening. but a bit whiny at times. she gives really good advices and she loves helping people. =) She's the kind of person who don't really mind being taken advantage of just to please people(don't think naughty!). i've seen it. and sometimes, i feel like smacking her for being so damn kind. but then if i do, then i'm the evil one who stop her from being herself.

She's also a really strong person. she sees tears as some kind of weakness back then but i hope she has changed her view because i think it isn't. we've really opposite view in this matter. =D i think she needs to let out her tears freely. it's healthy to cry when u're over-joyed or over-sad. LOL. Kristine has been there when i need someone though i know she must be thinking i'm a really stupid person. *you know what i'm talking*. she has real good patience on me! She bought me ice-cream when i was depressed, how cute right? =3 thinking back, if i was kristine, i would have smacked myself silly for being so bloody stupid but stupidity has it rewards. *grins* from that, i know who my true friends really are. =3 truth is, all of them are. LOL. i don't have many friends. =(

the high. the drunk and the less sober. ps: is it ok if i submit this pic to the stars paper? i might win rm100 from it. =D

Kristine, being 20, isn't that bad alright? you should be happy that we've accomplished a few things in life and that we've got so many years ahead of us. =) don't u worry about it, okay? =)

and hey, you're a great friend to a lot of people. your ups and downs, we're always here no matter what. so stop thinking stupid stuff silly!

there isn't much i have to say now really, except.. Happy 20th Birthday! =)

ps: enjoy life as it is. =3

And I say Goodbye 2008 and Welcome 2009. =D

2009-01-02T10:02:00.005+08:00

2008 is nothing but another year to our memories. =(

honestly, i don't know what to summarize about my year. i've been through a few ups and kinks.

so 2008 started without much of a kick to be honest. hahaha! just kidding~ well, it started of with me celebrating new year with friends. =) and then went through some turmoil and dreamland, there was a lot a of happiness but at the same time there was an adequate amount of sadness and emo-ness.

all that's left, is just a memory.

Health:

All year round, stephie had been healthy except for a few fevers, sorethroats and flu. Stephie hadn't been exercising much, just a lot of walking hence the flabbiness these days. and also, stephie hadn't been eating healthily. lots of junk food. chips, sweet, sour plums, fried stuff and etc.

Studies:

Studies was alright i guess. okay. Stephie hadn't been completing lots of assignments and totally regretted the all year-round laziness during the exams. Otherwise, Stephie had been revising and studying for each exam and had dutifully tried her best in everything. Another thing that Stephie regretted is, not attending all the extra curricular activites, hence the low mark. About her exams, She had been pretty depressed during that month. She suffered and brokedown almost everyday and vowed to never ever follow her parents bidding when it comes to studies. =D

and i love her sial.

Personal:

Stephie made a few friends though not close. Still sticking to the old ones, hanging out occasionally. Of course, there have been a few misunderstandings among peers. family relationship wise, stephie have been getting along well with them except a few kinks and heated arguments with the gemini (mum). for some reason, this sagittarian here can't get along well with gemini. and it seems to be a proven fact. so sod those horoscope books about saggitarians get along well with geminis when in fact, a sagittarian like me does NOT. i repeat, does NOT get along well with gemini. i get along well with pieces (daddy and bennie), capricorn (Kristine n CK), Leo (Sandra), Librans like Yuyan n Mel and urmmmmm.. Scorpio (elder sis and a few others)

when we are suppose to look good.

Love wise, it has been great. a few arguments here and there but nothing big. =) still a lot more to understand ben. learn a great deal about his family and relatives. =) especially like his little cousin Kim. xD she's cute! xD

over the years.

Financial:

Very happy to declare broke. for some reason, i spend a lot this year. =( so yeah, broke. and will get a job right after CNY. i m thinking of kindergarten teacher or tuition teacher for kids. LOL. But of course, the gemini in my family will NOT allow. She likes to see her daughter becoming a clerk n suffer sleepless night working for the elder sis. yeah wey. One of my sis's company clerk was so bloody stressed till he suffered from insomnia. he wanted to hand in resignation letter but the boss wouldn't allow and gave him a 2-4 weeks holiday to recover. man, if i were him, i'll throw the letter in. no job is worth sacrificing my health!

and i have faith it will last with more sweet moments to come.

and i say welcome 2009! xD May this year be better than the last in all aspects! xD especially the money and studies part. =P this year would be a diff year as i m soon to be a uni student, doing my bachelor degree in.. whatever course that i might b taking in the future. =) and urhm... if i get accepted to local uni, i'd be so far from home.. *sobs and sniffs*

And So I'm Here.

2008-12-27T12:03:00.005+08:00

here i am.

I know. It has been a LOOOOONG time again. But here's my excuse, i've been feeling a tad bit lazy to update my blog. =/ and also, i find myself running out of topics. =(

So anyway, for the past weeks, i've been going out and rotting at home. basically, i didn't really do much. =/ but here's the thing, i find myself going out at least 3 times a week. xD and i'm not proud of it because i've ran out of money and the feeling is not good at all. =/

After ben came home from turkey, he shipped me off to his place for a four days stay which is from monday till thursday. =3 that's coz his cousin, Sean, is visiting from australia and ben had to bring him out and all. =)

birthday gift from ben. =)

we didn't do much really. ben brought him to sunway pyramid, midvalley, stadium bt. jalil and to.. Sg Long. (-_-")

Spend Christmas's Eve with his family and well, that was when i was bored coz ben was playing pool with Sean, while his sister were hanging out with her friends.

make-up by ben's sister (Cher-Lynn)

I guess, i don't have much to say except posting pictures. =)

i look like my mum. *sigh* ben. and Sean.

Cher-Lynn's BFF.

the only pic of me and ben and i look so.. (-_-")

the only thing i dislike abt the restaurant is the lighting. heheheh.

right outside the restaurant. can i feel ugly at that mo?

The very next day, we had to send Sean off to the airport coz his next stop is Japan. We had to wake up super early. it feels like going back to school. epp!

After the trip to airport, we headed back to my place to get some rest and etc before heading off to Juen Nin ( my cousin )'s place for christmas party. =) it was good. I mean, it has been awhile since i saw my cousins. =) things were good. food was great. couldn't ask for more. since the camwhoring pics are still with ben. i'll post up just 3. the ones i have.

eh, eh! if i tell you that's a real tattoo. would you believe? =D

Truth is, it's not real. just a stick-on which i find it look pretty real. hahahaha! My 12 years old cousin was asking if it's real and i went like.. Yeah! it's real! and i fibbed and bullshit. Sandra was playing along with me. we made up a damn good story. hahahaha!

silent night~ holy night~ the tree and presents! =D

this is a nice pic but i had to spoil it by looking so ugly. =/

next stop.

ooops. xD

That was about it. =) well, i got ben 3 shirts and a necklace which i designed myself for christmas. =) and he got me.. diamonds... I m serious.. it's really big too! hahahah!

it's actually the perfume. Diamonds by Armani. =) love it to bits. =D

then yesterday went Chinese New Year shopping with ben and sandra at bangsar. =) after visiting so many boutiques. i only manage to get a red dress. i need all the luck in year 2009. so on the 1st day, i m wearing red and gold. mwahahahahahahaahahah! well, that's about it i guess. =) shall update soon since new year's eve is drawing nearer. =)

btw, Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year Ppl! =)

Ben and I = Noobies.

2008-12-08T20:59:00.009+08:00

neoprints.

Finally. Finally ben and i succumbed to the evil side of neoprints. hahaha! okay, so it was sorta planned. i mean, i've been totally bugging him for it because i wanna see or rather experience how fun it's to take pics in those funny machines. and it turned out to be a pretty fun and FUNNY experience.

I went MIA for abt 3 days but i really doubt anyone would have noticed it because well, i am always MIA! xD Went for a weekend at ben's place. hang out with his family and friends. owh, i met a cute kid named charlie. he's really cute though he's actually 13. well, when i 1st saw him, i thought he's like 9-10 years old but he turned out to be 13. omg right?! xD he's related to ben, somehow. complicated story.

uh huh. (*dots*)

So then ben asked me what i'd like to do on today as in monday and i just went like Pavillion since it has been awhile we went there and well, i really wanna go neoprinting in Sg. Wang.

So off we went in the rain to pavillion. actually, we're pretty sheded coz he drove there lah. nice weather. ben is in superb mood. no complaints. =D NO JAMS! KL didn't jam! so nice right?! heck we even found a parking a few steps away from the entrance. wheee~!

Pavillion's christmas deco isn't that impressive lor. i think last year's better. then we went off to LOT 10. you know, to use the bridge to Sg Wang. Went in Isetan and urh, took the opportunity to shop! hahaha! tested a few perfume. finally get a whif of Pleasure (Estee Lauder), Magnifique (Lancome) and Daisy (Marc Jacob). I have a thing for Daisy. it smells really nice, to me! X3

weird.

let's not go off course. So we went to Sg. Wang. That place was so packed! foreigners and malaysians. lots of chinese for sure. heheh. so we went around looking for the machines which i eventually find. it was in level 6. = = level 4 and 5 were parking lots and level 6 is.. LALA land. hahaha! eh, lala land also has nice clothes okay? that's if you're lucky la. i think so far, i have been lucky to find the right pieces but unlucky price wise coz the less lala-fied a piece of top, the more expensive it is.

So in LALA land, they have a few machines. Ben and i took the cheapest since we really don't know how to work them. they're NOT as easy as it looks. i thought we could handle it but no, it was hard. Eventually, the token changer has to help us with those machines. hell, she even helped us to decorate our pics. i felt so stupid. *sigh* she or rather they were handling it like pros though the instructions and wordings are actually in japanese. like, wth? they actually read japs or they've experiment enough to know what to do with it. *sigh* that moment of my life, i felt so noob. *sniff sniff*

my personal fave.

The girls (token changers) were really helpful though they don't even know us. =) thanks to them, we have these neoprints. Ben, i wanna go neoprinting more coz they are nice as in the pics. we look so flawless. xD i think i look prettier in the pics taken by the machines ( vain vain me). hey! sometimes, i need to feel good you know? xD Wah, i wonder if i send in a pic taken by those machine to participate in those model search, do you think i stand a chance? =P just kidding! xD

Well, Ben will be going away for vacation for one week. Where to? Turkey. Yeap. Turkey. and Stephie will be home all the time. So, just so you guys know, i'll be at home. =( anyone wanna hang out?

ps: santa clause is coming to town. =) me love christmas!

And I'm Just A Girl.

2008-12-04T14:52:00.008+08:00

candid.

I'm officially back to blogging! actually, it makes no difference coz i only like update once in awhile but who cares! xD

my last paper was today at 11am. hmmm. actually, i thought i'd feel damn free but here's the thing, i actually don't because i was loaded with house work! and no lunch. *sigh*

what cheer me up is the post from kristine's blog. eh, damn bangga can? =D but then hor, she writes more abt mel =/ . eh, i should NOT complaint. i should be proud. So thanks kristine! if it was me, i don't think i can come up with a post abt you at all basically because, there're so much things we did together that it's really all in the memory. but i'd do it for ur sake on 4th of jan when u turn 20. =P visit her bloggie at Solitary Rose

me and you. *loves*

Well, my birthday wasn't much of an event but still it was pretty good. =) i hereby would like to thank these ppl for their wishes. =) the list goes:

*~ Benjamin Tan, my prince.
*~ Kristine Thong the Ada Choi look-alike
*~ Chris Tan the kind one. =)
*~ Jaclyn Lee, my sister and Gan Bing Hock, my bro-in-law
*~ Sandra Lee, my sister. <3
*~ Rizmalize the classmate.
*~ Ashraf the playful.
*~ Melody the stylish hottie.
*~Flora the perfectionist
*~Christina, my primary school mate.
*~Steven Fok the dancer.
*~Darren Ng the nice one.
*~Hilmi, my kai kor.
*~ Jin Rui the cutie.
*~ Yuyan, the optimist.
*~ Juen Nin, my cousin
*~ Aunt Hui Nee, my mum's sister. =)
*~ CMY the lost one.
*~ Ryan Oh, kristine's cousin,
*~ Jamie Liew, sandra's compliment-generous friend.
*~ Helicase the gorgeous.
*~ Nanesh the victim in standard 3.
*~ Sie Hui, ben's close friend in college.
*~ Lisa Lee, the lost contacted friend.
*~Ju Ween, the one in aussie land.
*~ Nadira the modest.
*~ Seng Kit a long time crusher on K. =P

cause we look so happy here.

Those pics were taken in mel's bro's wedding dinner. it was abt a month ago, i know. but ben just uploaded the pics! so i shall post here aso la since i need more readers to visit my blog. =P here are the pics :

only those who are in the pics are allowed to steal the pics! =D

trying to be happy. =P

ben and i.

we look so distorted over here!

ben and i. in colour. LOL.

just the 4 of us.

me <3>

Kristine and Trisha! =D

them again. they banyak camwhore using ben's phone. swt betul!

the 2 gorgeouses. =)

*lost* i hate my hair. =/

kristine, trisky, and jeffrey.

*tickle tickle!*

Since i said i hate my hair. i'm in a real dilemma now.

Q: should i dye my hair?

Ben's A: no matter what you're still steph.

So people, should i? because not to gloat or to boast, i have really dark black hair that not everyone has. even sandra admitted it. she ask me to keep my black hair but i'm feeling adventurous, should i go ahead? hmm? *thinks* gimme some ideas ppl! xD

ps: my dad ask me to dye my hair in copper colour. heck he ask me if i was going blonde. eesh.

okay, thats all for now. till then, adieu. =D

Just For This Little Moment.

2008-11-26T17:53:00.003+08:00

I miss you! X3

hahahaha! well, i'm NOT really supposed to be blogging till next thursday but you know what? =3 i don't give a damn! X3 i've just had my hardcore papers over~ whee~ but at the same time, i've been overdosing myself with worries. ya know, the urhm, "winning" streak in me. LOL. okay, to be honest, i'm really scared that i'll do bad and then my mum would be like " get married and get a life, i don't want a daughter who can't excel.." that kinda thing?

And yeah, this whole month had been the most stressful time of my year. i've cried coz i was stressed out before but it was like a 10 mins thing? but not this month. damn, i had it bad this month. i've cried like almost everyday? LOL. i think my parents really aught to send me off for some emotion/stress management talk. hahaha! yeah, i'm very stressed. =/

other than that, i've lost weight! yay~! that's the good thing~ my friend whom didn't see me for like a few days went like.. "what happened to you?! You've lost weight!" hmmm.. understatement? because on the way, i've gained eye rings and they are NOT pretty and pimples.

owh, and i've been having aches. backache, buttache, fingerache, neckache, stomachache, headache.. all the aches, you name it! and ulcers. and sorethroat. and fever. demn. of all times huh? =D

owh well, i guess that's all i wanna say. and urh, i only had like 3 hours plus sleep last nite and my papers today were 8am-11am and 2pm-5pm. so yeap, 3 hours of sleep and it lasted me the whole day though i was pretty incoherent.

god, and you know who and what i miss right now?

the whos :
i) ben
ii) kristine
iii) mel
iv) darren
v) yuyan
vi) my granny
vii) deniece ( we haven't been talking girl!)
viii) me when i was a kid free of worries =/

the whats:
i) cinema. i miss pop corns.
ii) sunway pyramid. the good old bubble milk tea.
iii) midvalley. gosh, it was a long time since i went there!
iv) the curve.
v) genting highlands.
vi) cameron highlands.

i feel so gila right now. lack of sleep does it. u know, coke's caffeine doesn't work. i've tried. only lasted awhile. =/

okay back to my baby bennie bunnie.

baby bennie bunnie : my pet rabbit in pet's society (facebook)! =D

AWOL. =)

2008-11-08T11:41:00.003+08:00

AWOL is known as away WITHOUT official leave. BUT, for my case, it's WITH official =D

I'm not going away for holiday. no where near that YET but pretty soon i believe. =) I will not be updating much this month as my exam's here. starting on the 18th Nov and ending on 4th Dec. So don't keep asking me already. =/ Yeah, i even have a paper on my birthday. =/ *sigh* life is just so cruel. *sniff sniff*

ben. stephie. at mel's bro's wedding dinner. =)

We're growing fat aren't we? *frowns* owh well, just before i go, there's a song that i'd really love to share. it's LOVE STORY by TAYLOR SWIFT. (ps: i've nvr been so crazy over a singer besides avril lavigne! and now i'm crazy over taylor swift's songs. xD)

Taylor Swift
Love Story

We were both young when I first saw you
I closed my eyes and the flashback starts
I'm standing there
On a balcony in summer air

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
And say hello
Little did I know

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said, "stay away from Juliet"
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you, please don't go
And I said

Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story
Baby, just say yes

So, I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet cause we're dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while

Oh oh
Cause you were Romeo, I was the scarlet letter
And my daddy said, "stay away from Juliet"
But you were my everything to me
I was begging you, please don't go
And I said

Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story
Baby, just say yes

Romeo, save me
They try to tell me how I feel
This love is difficult, but it's real
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story
Baby, just say yes

Oh oh

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town
And I said

Romeo, save me
I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you, but you never come
Is this in my head
I don't know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring
And said

Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad
Go pick out a white dress
It's a love story
Baby, just say yes

Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh

'Cause we were both young when I first saw you

Alright, i better get going now. a lot more topic to cover. =) take care ppl! =)

Taggy~

2008-10-31T11:00:00.004+08:00

Since lately there's ntg much going on in my life, i guess, i don't mind doing tags. =D got tagged by Steven Fok. =) 1st time he tags me wey~ hahaha~ here it is :

1. What's your ambition?
*~ damn good question! i wanna be a mum. LOL. just kidding. Actually, my ambition is to well, have a job that earns about 4-5 digits a month. =D okay, i shall NOT be greedy. I think 4 digit is quite enuf. =3

kristen bell and masi oka.

2. If you were given a superpower, what will it be and what will you use it for?
time travel like hiro nakamura from HEROES. I think it'd be fun to see neanderthals running about chasing chickens the size of ostrich. =P i think it's cool to be able to see the future, to see if there's really flying cars and people getting obese. =P

one of my fav foods. =3

3. What is your favorite food?
chinese dim sum, sushi, pizza, fast food, thai food, western food. xD

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
I think i need more. i find people who are confident with authority sexy. but it depends, over confident people are such turn off!

5. How many babies you want?
owhh~! 3 or 4. But i think 3 is enough. No one ever said giving birth is an easy task. best have triplets. 3 in one go. tak payah susah susah, give birth for 3 times in different years. LOL.

rainbow. =3

6. Do you believe in seeing rainbows after the rain?
I've seen a full rainbow. at that time i was depressed and i think it was god's way of making me happy or something. i'm telling you, a full rainbow is absolutely beautiful and i've oni seen it ONCE in my 18 years of life.

7. What is your goal for this year?
Getting AWESOME results for STPM? =)

8. Do you believe in eternal love?
Of course. =)

9. Have you ever been abandoned by someone?
Yeah, it was for the best. Thinking back, i was silly and it wasn't the best thing happened to me at that time but now it's the best thing that happened to me. xD

10. What feeling do you love most?
The feeling of loving someone and having that person love you back. =)

11. What is your bad habit?
picking my nose. =P just kidding! bad habit, erh, it'd be my itchy hands that never able to resist squeezing pimples. xD

12. Is there anything you want to tell the people who hates you?
i don't think so.

13. Do you cherish every friendship of yours?
of course! >=3

14. What does flying means to you?
freedom. =3

15. What do you crave for most currently?
STPM to be over so that i can be a couch potato for 2 months before getting a job or something.

16. List 3 most important person in your life?
i can't because i have more than 3 person that are important in my life.

17. Describe the person who tagged you in 7 words.
talkative, caring, nice, good listener, generous, good dancer.

18. You found your other half?
i believe i have. =)

my other half. =3

19. What will you become in 10 years to come?
a successful person. *grins*

super adorable huh? =) <3!

20. What is your favourite animal?
puppies, toy dogs, kittens, hamsters, baby bunnies, anything that's small, furry and CUTE. xD

i hereby tag...

nobody. people are free to do it. i think i don't even have 8 person for me to tag. LOL.

Instructions
Remove one question from above and add in your personal question
Make a total of 20 questions and tag 8 people
List them out at the end of the post
Notify them in their chatbox that they've been tagged
Whoever does this tag will have blessings from all